Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

yechida's reflections
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: yechida's reflections 85360 Views

Re: yechida's reflections 08 Sep 2019 01:08 #343415

  • yechidah
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3670
  • Karma: 62
  • Attachment This attachment is hidden for guests. Please log in or register to see it.
Last Edit: 08 Sep 2019 01:14 by yechidah.

Re: yechida's reflections 08 Sep 2019 10:36 #343423

  • yechidah
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3670
  • Karma: 62
Encouragement in Teshuva of Bein Adam Lechaviero

Many get disheartened by the fact that while Hashem forgives (with teshuva) all sins done against Him, He does not forgive sins between man  and his fellow man.This cause many people anguish as they regret their past behaviors that hurt others but wither do not have the opportunity to ask forgiveness or lacks the courage to do so.

Rav Kook in his Oros Hateshuva give us hope & perspective & advice in regards to this.Alot (but not all) what is written below is brought down there

It is true that full forgiveness can only happen when the person you hurt forgives you. And a person should do what he or she can to break their ego & pride & ask forgiveness .

But while the courage is not yet there this is what you do 

1) Ask Hashem to forgive you for the aspect of the  sin against HIM.  Loshon Horah or hurting someone is also a sin against HIM. So with true teshuva , Hashem forgives you for that aspect of the Loshen Horah  which weakens the sin greatly even if the aspect of "bein adom lechavero" is still there. Nevertheless, the sin is very much weakened.

2) Tell Hashem in your prayers that you deeply regret hurting His children. Ask Him for courage to correct by asking forgiveness. And in the meantime Ask Hashem to place in the heart of the friend you hurt to forgive you & for Hashem to be compassionate towards you while you make these efforts even if you didn't get muster the courage to actually ask forgiveness

3) Forgive a person who as hurt you even if he/she didn't ask you forgiveness.Then tell Hashem that while you understand that ideally you need to ask forgiveness from someone you hurt, but in the meantime to ask Hashem to soften your friend's heart towards you so that he will forgive you. Here there is a midda kneged middah. Just as you forgave others, you ask Hashem to open up the hearts of others to forgive you

4)Going forward, pray for the welfare of the one you hurt & his family & actively find ways to help him/her . This is very powerful because Hashem now sees in a very active & tangible way that you deeply regret your past mistakes of hurting this other person. This will assist that you muster the courage to ask forgiveness and /or this person will forgive you on their own

Don't allow yourself to get discouraged even if you haven't yet fully kept your obligation to ask forgiveness from someone you have hurt. It's not all  or nothing. These efforts listed above have great value in sweetening judgments & getting to the point to where you will actually be able to do what you need to do
Last Edit: 08 Sep 2019 11:23 by yechidah.

Re: yechida's reflections 15 Sep 2019 11:03 #343564

  • yechidah
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3670
  • Karma: 62
wishing you all a wonderful week!!

Dvar Torah-Tavo
  • Attachment This attachment is hidden for guests. Please log in or register to see it.
Last Edit: 15 Sep 2019 11:07 by yechidah.

Re: yechida's reflections 15 Sep 2019 15:43 #343567

  • yechidah
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3670
  • Karma: 62
Dvar Torah from Rav Kook ztl

The Torah portion opens and closes with the same theme: simchah, joy. It begins with the mitzvah of offering bikkurim (first-fruits) in the Temple, an exercise in appreciating what God has given us, as it says,

“You shall rejoice in all the good that the Lord your God has granted you and your family” (Deut. 26:11).

Afterwards, the Torah describes the terrible trials that will befall the Jewish people if they are unfaithful to the Torah’s teachings. This section concludes with the root cause for these punishments:

“Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy (simchah) and contentment (tuv leivav).” (Deut. 28:47)

Not only does God expect us to keep the mitzvot, but we are to perform them with joy and contentment. What is the difference between these two emotions?

Joy and Contentment

Simchah and tuv leivav are two distinct levels of happiness. Interestingly, they are the result of contradictory perceptions.

What is the source of tuv leivav? This is a sense of satisfaction that we feel good about our service of God. We pray, study Torah, and perform mitzvot out of a feeling that we are doing what we were created to do. As one of God’s creations, it is natural for us to serve Him. We are grateful to have been blessed with the intellectual and spiritual capabilities needed to worship Him through Torah study and mitzvot.

Simchah, on the other hand, comes from the perception that some unexpected boon has befallen us. We feel joy in serving God when we are aware of the tremendous privilege in being able to connect to God — a gift far beyond our true level. Awareness of this amazing gift, while at the same time feeling that our service is appropriate and suitable, allows us to feel both simchah and tuv leivav.

Cultivating Joy

How does one attain this simchah in serving God? The secret to developing and enhancing our sense of joy is to reflect on two thoughts:

  • Appreciating the significance and wonder of every medium - such as Torah study and mitzvot — that allows us to connect with the Master of the universe.

  • Recognizing the Divine source of our soul and its inherent holiness, even though it may have become soiled through contact with the material world.

We experience genuine joy in serving God when we are able to thoroughly internalize these two insights

Re: yechida's reflections 20 Sep 2019 10:11 #343677

  • yechidah
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3670
  • Karma: 62
a case for journal writing

8 Reasons Keeping a Journal Can Help You Reach Your Goals

Written by joshua becker · 62 Comments

“Always carry a notebook. And I mean always. The short-term memory only retains information for three minutes; unless it is committed to paper you can lose an idea for ever.” – Will Self

Our decision to become minimalist was intentional. It was based on the realization that our possessions were distracting us from things in life that were more important. Our possessions were stealing too much of our money, time, energy, and focus. And as a result, we decided to get rid of everything we didn’t need or love to focus on our greatest passions.

On the other hand, this on-line journal of our journey into minimalism was not intentional. Originally, the Becoming Minimalist website began as simply a humble means to inform our extended family of our goals. But somewhere along the way, it became an important piece in helping us achieve them.

Since then, I have used the discipline of keeping a journal to assist me in the pursuit of other life goals as well. And I have come to clearly recognize and appreciate its importance.

Benefits of Keeping a Journal

Consider these 8 ways keeping a journal can help us reach our goals:

1. Keeping a journal requires us to write out our goals. The importance of committing our desires to paper cannot be overstated. It is a simple process, but it pays great dividends. Writing out our goals provides the opportunity to articulate them clearly and makes their achievement appear closer.

2. A journal serves as a permanent record of our progress. Success can be quickly forgotten. And when it is, it becomes easy to get frustrated with our pursuit. As with any pursuit, there are times we may feel like we have not accomplished anything despite all the invested effort and energy. During those moments, it is helpful to look back and be reminded of our past successes.

3. Writing requires us to think through the why’s and the how’s. When we sit down behind a blank computer screen or sheet of paper and begin to write out what we accomplished during the day, we are forced to think through our process on a deeper level. The discipline forces us to answer the difficult questions of “why,” “how,” or “why not?” The answers to these questions are not just helpful as we move forward to repeat successes and avoid mistakes, they can be therapeutic as well.

4. A journal proves we have solved problems in the past. Whether we are chasing a physical goal (26.2 miles), a career goal (start my own business), or a personal goal (become a better father), not every step in our pursuit is going to be easy… goals worth pursuing never are. At some point, we will be required to overcome adversity. But we will. And the next time we face it, we’ll find motivation and strength in our written record of overcoming it in the past.

5. Keeping a journal naturally reminds us to articulate next steps. It is difficult to look back without also looking forward. As a result, when we journal, we naturally begin to look forward. And the next step becomes easier to see.

6. Writing reminds us to think beyond the obvious. Always looking for “material to journal” has caused me to see the value of simplicity and minimalism in areas I would not normally have seen it ― whether it be an article in the newspaper, an advertisement on television, or a conversation with a friend. Likewise, writing causes us to become more intentional in any pursuit ― and to find inspiration beyond the obvious places right in front of us.

7. Even a private journal provides accountability. As we script our journey, we find accountability ― not to the written word, but to ourselves. Our past success and perseverance compels us forward. We can see how far we’ve come, how much we have left to accomplish, and why giving up would be foolish.

8. A written account allows our story to inspire others. Our journal is our story. It is our account of moving from Point A to Point B. And rightly shared, it can inspire others to do the same.

Getting Started.

• Find a form that is comfortable for you. A journal should work for you ― not the other way around. You may feel most comfortable with a notebook, a computer processor, a website, or an on-line writing app. Find a form that fits your personality and lifestyle. And embrace it.

• Commit to writing every day. The intention of sitting to write every day will compel your mind to manufacture and recognize progress. It is a bold plan. And you’ll likely miss days. But don’t let that stop you. Commit again to write the next day.

• Care more about substance and less about style. Write for yourself, not for others. As you do, write with the truest goal of putting onto paper your thoughts and action. Don’t worry about spelling and grammar if those things tend to bog you down. Your goal is not to get an “A.” Your goal is to articulate progress.

• Don’t be motivated by length. There are some days where you’ll be motivated to write much. Others days, only a little.

• Recognize our need. You story is important and is meant to be shared. It may be unique to you, but we desperately need to read it. Make sure we can.

Re: yechida's reflections 20 Sep 2019 11:26 #343680

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1037 days
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1901
Thanks for this post. In essence, writing on the forum is a good way to "journal". Besides personal benefits, it inspire others too.(#8)  Possibly a private journal would have the benefit of comfortably writing more specifics. Also having a hard copy is more real.
Feel free to contact me at

My threads: Lessons Learned:

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE:

Re: yechida's reflections 23 Sep 2019 00:39 #343709

  • yechidah
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3670
  • Karma: 62
kesivah vchasimah tovah to all of you-wishing you all a year of physical,emotional & spiritual health with great overflowing blessings to all of our brothers & sisters -we are all one -we are all deeply connected!!!

very inspired by this poem from Chanie Gorkin that went viral several years ago  & became famous & touched a lot of people

The Hasidic community of Crown Heights, Brooklyn, has watched one of its daughters shoot to international fame over the course of a week.

It all started when Chanie Gorkin, who is apparently an 11th grader at Beth Rivkah High School in Crown Heights, submitted a clever poem called "Worst Day Ever?" to

Because of her talents for music and rhythm, Chanie Gorkin has always had an appreciation for poetry. She especially enjoys the works of Shel Silverstein and other poets whose styles include humor and clever twists. Chanie lives with her parents and siblings in the Chassidic Community of Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Chassidic philosophy stresses that God is good, and since He is the cause of everything, everything is essentially good. Look for the good in all things and you literally create positive energy and a good reality for yourself. It all depends on how you look at it.

Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don't try to convince me that
There's something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don't last.
And it's not true that
It's all in the mind and heart
True happiness can be attained
Only if one's surroundings are good.
It's not true that good exists
I'm sure you can agree that
The reality
My attitude
It's all beyond my control
And you'll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a very good day.

Now read it from bottom to top, the other way,
And see what I really feel about my day.

Last Edit: 23 Sep 2019 00:57 by yechidah.

Re: yechida's reflections 06 Oct 2019 21:56 #344055

  • yechidah
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3670
  • Karma: 62
various quotes I saw in regards to Yom Kippur (& some comments at the end for clarification)

1)Think of Yom Kippur as a lookout on the top of a mountain that you have been climbing all year. See your days and their moments spread out before you. Be willing to look now at this big picture of your life. Your ultimate goals. Your beliefs. See each person in your life as part of that picture. What lesson have they taught you even if you had to learn it through pain? What message is God sending you by putting this person in your life?’

2)‘Every Yom Kippur, Jewish tradition requires a strict spiritual inventory. You aren’t supposed to just sit around feeling guilty, but to take action in the real world to set things right’ (unhealthy guilt-no. but expressing regret on the past & vidui-yes. but with a sharp clear positive view on the present & future)

3)The entire world is God’s message of love to us. Yom Kippur is the time when we are most open to receive this message’ – Rabbi Noah Weinberg

4-Yom Kippur is not about personal resolutions and private reflection. It is about standing up and talking to God. It is about apologizing, about reestablishing our connection with our Creator. We must tell God who we are, where we are holding in life, and what we know needs improvement’( true private reflection is having ones soul's destiny & path in minds & to be used to connect deeply with God)

Came Yom Kippur : A Hank Greenberg Poem

Hank Greenberg was a baseball player. A team leader. A league leader. A Jew. Both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur fall in the regular season and in 1934 Greenberg's Detroit Tigers were involved in the pennant race. Greenberg wrote in his autobiography, "The team was fighting for first place, and I was probably the only batter in the lineup who was not in a slump. But in the Jewish religion, it is traditional that one observe the holiday solemnly, with prayer. One should not engage in work or play. And I wasn't sure what to do." Greenberg's rabbi said that Rosh Hashanah was a "festive holiday" and playing would be acceptable. Hank played and hit two home runs including a ninth inning game winner.

"I caught hell from my fellow parishioners, I caught hell from some rabbis, and I don't know what to do. It's ten days until the next holiday — Yom Kippur." Those words, and his choice not to play on Yom Kippur due to its significance, inspired Edgar Guest to pen the following prose.

"Suppose I stay out of the game and we lost the pennant by one game?" - Hank Greenberg
Came Yom Kippur

A Hank Greenberg Poem

Author: Edgar Guest ©. Published: 1934. Appeared In: Detroit Free Press

"Came Yom Kippur — holy fast day world wide over to the Jew,

And Hank Greenberg to his teaching and the old tradition true

Spent the day among his people and he didn't come to play.

Said Murphy to Mulrooney, 'We shall lose the game today!

We shall miss him on the infield and shall miss him at the bat

But he's true to his religion — and I honor him for that!'"

Came Yom Kippur A Hank Greenberg Poem by Edgar Guest

Time to create page: 0.54 seconds

Are you sure?