Ignoring for one moment chaos this sin will inflict on my life and the lives of my family members...... I am really not so sure I can be bothered again - -- even though the last 40 or more days were really quite easy! -  I was totally avoiding looking at porn and women in general (tough when you use the trains) ... it was not a problem.  They'd come in front of my field of vision, or my thoughts - - and I'd gently chase them away :-)

But now I've broken my good streak and now the "starting up" phase begins.

So am I supposed to dwell on the terrible sin I committed?  I trried, but it really doesn't motivate me get started again really.  I reread the shulchan aruch sections and the remedies are so lofty and big for someone like me, I think the only rememdy I can really achieve is to try again at it.

So, someone perhaps advise about getting started.

Now my head is FULL of images of women.  I kept the lid on it for 80 days, and now they're everywhere!

Anyway, some suggestions for effectively restarting would be great.  It took me a LONG time to restart my 80 day winning streak, I always had good excuses (this is the LAST time I masturbate - i promise!! Just one more quick one!)

thank you.

Do you  Bards? The wild truck driving Rebbe? Do you know one of his pearls of wisdom?

Have you heard of "FELL SHMELL"?

You fell, great so what are you going to do about it?

The best eitza is what the Rebbe says- "KEEP ON TRUCKING"


Basicly FORGET  about your fall and get back to living life. Find something to get involved in and enjoy it. Don't think about your fall. Move on. I fell after almost 140 days and wallowed in the mud for a long time to I moved on. So forget about the fall and live life.

The Rebbe also advices shnaps for anyone not in AA

WOW 80 days! Try to look at the positive, you are really moving forward.

Try listening to some of the Jewish music on the site (after tisha b'av).

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Music/Music.asp

Some of the songs are so holy/moving that it takes you out of the mood of sinning. Love the Avraham Fried Anu Amecha song .

You blew nothing. You succeeded in keeping 80 days. You set yourself a new all-time record. Do you know how many people here have been struggling to reach 8 days, let alone 80 days ? Do you know how many people here would be willing to pay thousands of dollars to reach 80 days ?

You know how to do it again, you can't have reached 80 days without learning the tricks of the trade. And you're still in the middle of climbing the mountain, all you did was fall down a few feet. But the toughest part is willing yourself to continue the climb. The next few days are probably going to be tough, so just take it day by day. After a little while it will be easy again, like you said, "the last 40 or more days were really quite easy".

In this struggle, we must learn to live only in the present. True teshuvah means living the way Hashem wants us to right NOW. Ignore the past, ignore the future.

Please read the attitude handbook. You MUST internalize the yesodos there if you are to ever see success in this struggle!

thank you for the encouragement! I am on day five, I will get there again. 

Now.... I need to fix the ole' marriage :-)

This site and the way out of this is not about counting days but about making our days count. We strive to learn about ourselves, about life and how to live it and we strive to grow every day.

Even when we fall we have much to learn. I believe that we fall because we where not doing something we need to, to be the person who stays clean. If that is our goal and the only real way to stay clean we need to take the oppertuniy presented by this fall and learn what else we can do.

Holy Yid,

Great point! So true. I fell recently after my all time record (36 days) so getting up is difficult but I'll keep what you wrote in mind.

Thanks.

All i can add to the above, is my best wishes etc.
lately (after making 100) and going down like a sack into the lowest because of the fact that i 'fell', i started to think . why is it after i quit smoking three years, i still feel clean even after having fell thru umpteen times. (Usually the slip ups were like a trial cig just to see if i still know how to handle it.)!
just food for thought!

Once it’s in the bag it’s in the bag, a fall doesn’t negate the successes of the past. Each day and moment is new and precious. Just pick yourself up and start climbing. I recently heard an amazing vort from a Rav in B”B. A Rebbe once asked his student what happens if you are ridding on a horse and you fall off? To which the student correctly replied I stand up and get back on. And if you fall off again asked the Rebbe? I get back on again answered the student. And if you fall again and again and again continued the Rebbe. To end the dialogue the student responded WHAT I should just fall off and stay in the mud of course I am going to get back up each time!!!!!!!
The analogy is quite clear. Just get back up and don’t look back.

I think there are 2 points here.
1. The prosses here is one of personal growth and through growth we move away from a life of lust. So when we fall, as long as we learn about ourselves, from the fall, we are still growing.

2. The reward we have for being clean will stay with us forever.

One has to crouch down to make a big jump, the falls and slips will just help us bounce higher and higher in kedusha.

thanks everyone. 

Finding it very hard to "restart" as my YH is working hard to convince me I am on a vacation from sobriety  :-[

5770, 

Did you join Duvid Chaim's phone meetings? If you can please do. It changes the whole outlook. as Holy Yid said it's not about counting days. We need to figure out what is the cause that we are losing control? and learn how to deal with the weakness that is causing it.

Days are days- Wippty Dam Do. It's getting to the root.

Please join the the calls. There is 8:30am EST with Steve and 12:00pm EST with Duvid Chaim.