Hello all. I want to be clean, clear and honest. Honest with myself and honest with others. HKB"H knows all, so even if I think I'm not being honest with him, I know that He knows the truth.

I have been falling in the last number of weeks. I have been in bad places before in my life, but it has not been this bad in a while. I knew when I started to trip up that this site could be helpful. I liked the idea of the chart and I thought it would help me, so I began to anticipate when I would have three clean days and be able to sign up. That was two or three weeks ago. I almost made it last week and lost ground on Sunday. The rest of this week was better. I even made it to the list just a day ago. Alas, I fell today...

I feel ashamed and I want to cry.

I would like a sponsor/partner. Is there a difference between the two? I would also like to hear suggestions about filters.

I don't have much time to write more, so gut shabbos to all and kol tuv.

Dovid

David,

  The fact that you are being completely honest here in this forum,is proof that you ARE healing. Maybe not as quickly as you would like but what I mean is....you opened the door, and you are standing "inside" now.

The fact that you asked about filters is further proof of this.

Go to :  www.k9webprotection.com/

This is the best of the commercial filters. BUT, you really need to do 2 things.

1) set it to it's highest setting.

2) be in touch with Reb Guard, and ask him about entering his email for the password. For a filter to be successful, you absolutely must not have in your hands the password. Many of us here will tell you that this does not work, and so this will save you alot of time, and regrets.

David, since you are being honest here, and making a true evaluation of yourself...ask yourself another question and do not be fearful of the honest answers. It is the "honest" answers that will bring you to the complete healing.

Do you really really want to move away from this place? I mean, are you really using the p.... in order to take your mind away from the pain, and suffering of life. If you are feeling any emptiness in life, your self esteem, lack of self confidence etc, then you really must work on this, and to build yourself. Change yourself to the person who really doesn't want or need p...  By doing this, getting in to Simchah...this is what will make the filters, and other things really work.

Hello David, I'm in a rush but I just want to welcome you home. Yes home. Adopt us as family, and with the power of the "tzibur" you'll succeed. Did you study the Handbooks? That's the first thing you need to do.

One word about K9 "me" said, to set it to it's highest setting. That's true for the old version of k9. But in the present version, the highest setting renders your internet useless. You cant access us :'(, or your email. It's the default setting that you need (which is the next to highest).

Have a terrific Shabbos!!  CHAZAK VE"EMATZ!!

David my dear friend, welcome home.

You have found the right place for help.  The charts are an excellent tool in recovery, but if you read through the posts and the GYE Handbooks you will see that recovery is "one day at a time", if you find it too long to stay clean for one day break the day into manageable chunks and commit yourself that no matter what you will not act out, even if you tuchus falls off you will not act out 

I have to run it's soon Shabbos in London, and my wife is calling for help  ;D

Gut Shabbos

Dear David,

Welcome to our community, once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up up up!

To find a partner/sponsor, please see this post.

We get cries for help exactly like yours every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. I cannot answer you in one short e-mail, so I implore you, if you value your life in this world and the next, at least do at least this for yourself. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

We have a hotline on this page, where you can call and speak to someone with experience.

And we are starting tomorrow a 12-Step phone group that would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you turn your life around. PLEASE JOIN DUVID CHAIM'S daily group. Send me an e-mail if you're interested, to eyes.guard@gmail.com and I'll send you the info... Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are. This is VERY important.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...