I just got back from a full week at CARON (a rehab)
I did a program called breakthrough.

It is not a sex adiction treatment center, it's for general life difficulties, relationships, co-dependance, etc..

The healing I had was from the openness...

My dilemma is that I need openness to heal, but find that in the Frum community people are not generally open...

I am caught between whether to stay sheltered and continue being sick or to join the secular "self help" community.... and get support from them....

Tried,

Have you tried Sexaholics Anonymous.  The fellowship is AMAZING!

As for leaving the frum community, in NY SA is very possibly 40% frum people.  In some meetings in Brooklyn it can be 95%.

I would recommend it to anyone who thinks they need what GYE has to offer.

You are absolutely right about the openness.  Getting into addiction recovery but only staying in the shadows of the internet without live contact with other addicts is selling yourself short of what you can accomplish.

Hatzlacha