I haven't been on in a while. At first,

Wow! this is great insight!!!
Holy Brother B.R.,your kind word brought me to tears of joy!!!
Look at the Hasgocho-u experienced the power of hasphoh in negative way and then in a postive way! Keep up the good work,
Your loving brother,YA

Very inspiring coming back to keep trying to get better.

TRY THE LIVE SA MEETINGS!!!!

My addiction didn't take me to even half the places of some SA members but I know I couldn't do it without the live meetings.  It's not even a burden, now it is the greatest most comfortable place in the world for me to be.  I can just be myself whatever it is for that day. Good or bad.  No one judges you.  I like everyone else is there to get better.

Hatzlacha

Bechori,

I have found that giving up media has been very helpful.  When I was around 20 I once made a kabbola on Yom Kippur to not read any secular newspapers and magazines for a full year in order to avoid what was one of my main triggers for lust and eventually porn and masturbation.  It worked.  From the time I found masturbation as a young teen it was the only time I made a full year without falling.  So why didn't I continue?  I have no idea.

Anyways, since coming into SA to try to recover from my porn addiction I realized that the only way this was going to work was by recovering from what was really a lust addiction and the number one place for my lust addiction was the street, commuting, walking to shul, media, etc...

I have to go to work and I really should go to shul, but media?  The truth is I don't really need it but I used to read the daily newspaper cover to cover, how could I give it up?  Well, it has been one of the most important pieces of my recovery so far.  I never renewed my regular paper subscription, I now get a frum newspaper instead.  The other super important piece for me is the boundry of not doing any internet surfing on an unfiltered computer.  At work that means only business use and serious personal use, no just browsing around.  I also can't go to any type of secular internet news site.  The sites always have lust related stories and pictures to try and grab hold our attention and I just can afford to pay the price.

If you have come to the realization that media is an issue for you I would highly encourage you to set it aside as a boundary.  I find it helpful to view not using media not as a burdensome restriction but as a way to keep myself comfortable in sobriety.  I know I don't want to act out sexually or get into lust so feeding it images will just get me edgy and frustrated.

Hatzlacha 

dear bechori reuven, please consider joining a live SA group


See www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Tips/12StepsQuest.asp

Dear Bechori Reuven,
Hope u r doing well today. Thanks for the opportunity to be mechazek u.
I hear your sturggle about goyishe media. Please allow me to share what i have been mekabel from my rebeim-these are agents of the Y.H. which cause richuk from Hashem and worst of all rob us of precious moments of life. Aside from the bitul torah issue (which is not pashut at all) our hashkofos become corrupted from their goyishe way of thinking. Emunah is a very delicate zach which can be damaged very easily. BTW,i got myself into trouble by looking on Yeshiva World which led me to google a certain subject and eventually ending up wasting hours and days R"MN"ZLAN  following this gargabe and looking a related pictures of p*) and kal v'chomer by looking at gereral news on google an article and a picture grabbed my attention and i ened up off the deep end chained to the computer.
Enough preaching bottom line u need to make gedarim for u at your current madraga and not skip to a higher madrega.(Eyan Even Sleimah)  Chas V' Shalom, the YH entices us to take on difficult kaballos which are beyond our current level and that sets us up of major failure ,scoring a victory for the YH and more feelings of failure ,depression and hopelessness ect. I did hear b'shem a certain Gadol Hador,name  to remain a secret,who was matir reading secular books (clean) for a bachur who had certain issues. (compulsive personality type??) the p'sak was not for everyone,but for this bachur on his madrega it was "what the doctor ordered" . U need to figure out where u r holding and start growing step by step from there.

Gevaldig!!! FYI ,prior to my yirida i was a regular listener of shiurim on the telephone of Kol HaLashon which for me was very good because with my work schedule and family obligations,it is hard for me to go to live shiurim. Good to hear that u will be joining DuvidChaim's chevra.

Oy Vey! after giving u a mussar shmooze,i myself fell. This comes from ga'avha!!! i just wanted to go surfing on googge,with safe setting on! O.K. now i am starting over b'ezras Hashem! please stay in touch. hope to call in tomorrow on the noon time conference call.