I can't believe it has been one month.
It seems like yesterday that I installed a filter and turned away from that world.

A big thanks to everybody in this community, you have helped me in such a big way.
My world used to be a rollercoaster ride. GYE has changed that by giving me the skills and the support that have enabled me to go clean.

My Y’H’ is trying a new tactic, to convince me that I am “cured”, tried to tell me it wasn’t so bad but I must not forget that I used to abuse myself daily, that I used to push people away that stole my alone time. I was living inside a box. I was destroying myself.

I still battle with images inside my head and with some fantasies, but something that really works for me is Alert, Avert, Affirm. Distance and Distraction are great tools too.

I feel like new person – I have emotions I never used before, my heart is open like it never was before.

A big motivator for me has been my wife. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t think I would have had any reason to go clean.
For those of you that aren’t married, you can have the same motivator. Your wife is out there, you just haven’t met her yet. You can start loving her neshamah and doing things for her, even if you haven’t seen her face yet. This will bring you together more than anything else ever can.

Thank you Hashem, my wife and everyone in this group. I hope I never let you down.

Yosef.

Hey ToAdd,

It's great to read such a positive post. We are so involved in improving our negative traits that we sometimes forget to focus on our improvements and our progress. I'm "clean" for 21 days but I don't feel any positive feelings (freedom etc.) yet but perhaps it will come with time (each person is different).

Have a great day!

HELLO, GUARD. WHERE'S ALL THOSE ACES AND A&Ws AND ALL THAT? THIS IS SUCH BEAUTIFUL STUFF!

THANKS FOR POSTING.

Yosef,

You beautiful Neshomo!

Well done for reaching a month! I read this post and smiled and smiled. You and everyone here keep me straight and remind why this struggle is so worth it.

KUTGW!

Kol tuv

Haleivi

Yeah!!

You are trucking along

But u are not cured

No one is!!!


Guard

How about the daily dose of woodford

B

*group hug*

Hey Installed,
Three weeks was a difficult place for me, but as you said, we are all different. hang in there.
Perhaps my post was a bit misleading. A month clean, but my struggle started long before that.

I have recently adjusted my attitude. This may not work for other people, but I have an advantage here because it's winter so the attraction levels are lower. When walking around and I see something that would normally be a problem, I look away and say to myself: Yes, that's pretty, but it's not for me. It's pretty, not sexy, not attractive. Like non-kosher food, it may look and smell good, but it's off limits.

It's not the image itself that's a problem for me, it's the thoughts that are stirred or triggered by the image. (Talking mainly about non-internet here, about things you have to face.  For me, once I've decided I'm going to look at something it's already too late).
Our actions are not based on the image, they're based on our thoughts and attitudes about the image. If we can change our attitude towards the image - "thats dangerous, stay away, think about something else" rather than "thats nice, lets keep on focusing on that till I explode", then we can see some changes.
That explains why sometimes a fully clothed person can be worse than a scantly dressed one.

Distance yourself from dangerous situations, Distract yourself from dangerous thoughts.
The deeper the problem, the deeper the solution needs to be. If the problem is habitual, replace it with better habits.

Too true!!

So much of this is in the mind.

Attitudes dictate actions and then actions can drag the attitudes down with them, but it all starts with the way you frame it in your mind. I have found that if I spend a minute before I leave the office focussing on the fact that I am going to encounter all the denizens of hell between the office door and my home, it really helps to keep a control over my eyes. Sure I probably look REALLY odd walking down the street with my eyes on the floor, sometimes when the 'traffic' on the pavement is too heavy, even looking down has its problems and I find I have to dive out of the way, but what would you do if someone was shooting at you in the street, would you not dive? I see it as the Y"H is spitting out his 'bullets' at me in female form and it is my job to avoid them if I want to stay alive.

Some may find this analogy amusing - but whatever works right?

Any case, Kol tuv one and all

Be strong - just for today Rabboisai,  JUST FOR TODAY

I don't think that the summer makes much of a difference. There are nisyonos all the time and the YH is VERY creative. I really get chizuk by reading success stories so please keep it up  .

Installed! Do u live in the big apple, if so I wonder how it makes no difference for u that its summer, I guess u aint havin a YH yet

Hey Jewinpain,,

No I don't live in NY but I've been there many times and I know that there are more triggers (I guess to masturbate) during the summer but the really difficult ones are always there. Our secretary is there during the winter and the summer, our co-workers are with us all the time. I find those nisyonot to be the difficult ones (for me) but each person is different. Our minds are very creative ...