My dog died last night.  He was a young dog, and there's nothing the vet could tell me about what was wrong.  I just woke up and there he was lying on the floor.

I'm just sitting here missing him.  I live by myself and he was my buddy.

I don't feel triggered, I'm just very sad. 

Davening was tough.  Had to daven late, bdei eved.  very very quiet inside.  Just missing my bud.  I can't post anymore right now.  Hurts too much

yetzer's starting up.  Can't sleep.  Starting to pass the images by.  I'm outta here.  I gotta go read some tehillim and get to sleep somehow.

hi 1daat, my mother lost two dogs recently and it was so hard on her, for weeks she was down about it. so i have an idea of how empty and sad it feels to lose that happy, accepting and loving presence in your life. the sub-conscious questions it raises about how something so innocent can be taken so suddenly and how can we carry on on our own. a face that greeted u every day with warmth and was so happy to have your attention is so hard to suddenly be without.
my mother got a new dog afterwards (the shelters always have more than enough to give away).
what you wrote in a different thread about your connection and 'conversations' with Hashem was so beautiful and i hope you can find what you seek through that.
have a great shabbos
zemiros

Zemiros, your post has me crying.  It was like you knew what it was to be inside me, and you comforted me.  How can I thank you.  Thank you.

I took a walk onto a pier (waited till late in the day, not many people, easier on the eynaim) and just looked down in to the ocean and had a talk and a cry.  Usually something like this would have me falling like a stone.  Davening seems to be either with tears or thoughts of breakfast.  Nice steady kavannoh  is to be just now I guess.

Anyway, thanks very much.

Wow, buddy. Not just a post about how much you've lost and are hurting (and you've got my sympathy), but it's also a post about how much love is in you, and how it deserves to have a new place to connect. There's so much in the world that needs so much love. I hope you can find a place to share it, whether it means a pet or a child or a senior or a new dance step. Whatever it is, look at how much love you've got available to give it.

In the meantime, may the tears stop soon....

i know when my mother lost her dogs i could not talk to her for a week or so. so she must have been in the pits. when you write how you did not use it as an 'excuse' for falling and that you turned to Hashem that is so precious and impressive. you are really special. and as Briut wrote, you have all that love that you can give. i hope you find solace in your connection and conversations with Hashem.

I can sympathize with you,when you've lost someone dear to you. The broken heart,the emptiness. But it's just temporary,everything we'll be good in the end. Hashem is with you and He loves you. I try to think of that story,was it with Rabbi Akiva(?),when he tried to find a place to stay for one night and didn't manage to. He went out on to the field with his chicken,donkey and torch. A wind came and blew out the torch and Akiva said:"Everything that happens,Hashem does it for the good". Later in the night,a wolf came and killed the chicken and the donkey and Akiva said again:""Everything that happens,Hashem does it for the good". In the morning,when he woke up,he realised that the city where he'd tried to find a place to stay had been destroyed by the Romans and if the torch wouldn't have been blown out,the light would have attracted the Romans and also,the sounds of the animals would have done the same thing too.
Everything that happens,Hashem does it for the good.

Zmiros, Briut, WWW.  you lift me.  You care that it hurts, and you give chizuk so beautiful.  Thank you.

It's softening.  It'll be ok.  Somebody stole my hammock.  Had to be while I was away for Shabbos. This is now funny to me.  A hammock???  Gam zu l'tovah.

"H nurses me back with another "wolf".

Soon it'll be l'chaim time.  Maybe by next Shabbos, Be"H

I'm happy for you 1daat,that you feel better.

well,you'd be surprised what people can steal,I remember that someone stole my grandma's flower pots...now that's also strange..but as you say,"gam zu l'tovah". At least the ganef could rest after fleeing... :D

1daat,

I think that only people who've experienced true loneliness can relate to another human being who is lonely. Everyone experiences loneliness occasionally but not everyone experiences it as intensely as you described. So take those feelings which you have and figure out how you'd treat another lonely person whom you'll meet in the future. And that will make all the difference in the world to them.

You guys are just amazing!  It's starting to ease.  My boys are both coming into town for Shabbos and surfing.  (Go figure the priorities).  They are always a source of great nachis and comfort.

WeWillWalk wrote on 07 Jul 2010 20:56:


That's hysterical.  Oy I needed a great laugh.
Is bards still open?