I grew up with a low self-esteem as well as this addiction that began in my younger teenage years. I know that many of my peers presented a higher self-esteem. I wonder if they had an easier time with this addiction as a result of their higher esteem. There's no question that one of the great tricks of the Yetzer Hara is to highlight the animalistic side of us and to tell us how little we are worth, when in truth we are worth a lot more. Take a moment to answer this poll as it can reveal an interesting fact about this addiction.

It is precisely this issue which probably made you more vulnerable to addiction in the first place. One of the leading causes of addiction is a feeling of an inner void. This can be brought about by low self-esteem, child hood trauma, or people who suffer from anxiety or depression. Anyone of these can cause a person, often from a young age already, to seek "self-soothing" behaviors to "medicate" the dark feeling in their subconscious. A person may not even be aware of this, but that is what made him susceptible to the addiction in the first place, more than other people. And that is why therapy is a very important aspect in breaking free. A person needs to work through their deep subconscious issues with a professional. It is hard - if not impossible, to probe one's own subconscious.

See our therapy page, and find someone in your area trained to deal with sexual addiction and low-self esteem. Also, Rabbi Twerski wrote almost 50 books on the issue of self-esteem. Look into buying some of them.

G-d luck!

I would be very interested to hear from someone who previously had issues which were seemingly unrelated to self esteem, and then improved his/her self esteem. Did the other issues disappear, or did they stay?
According to Rabbi Twerski, the cause of everything is lack of self esteem. And although this might seem to be farfetched, he's a genius and is working in the field long enough that you can rely on him.
My question is, if you remove the cause after it's already had it's effect, will the effect go away?

What is low self esteem??


Ok you think this is another bardichever jokem

Ok you are halfway correct


I think that low self esteem is what the sforim call "Faltshe anivus"

(There are exceptions in the case of abuse but that is beyond my scope of expertise)

Low self esteemers think that since no one is "giving" hem attentoin and they lack the guts or the sheer craziness to get it

There fore they will crawl uder a rock hide in the turtles shell till everyone says "cmon come out"

It is also based in "gaava"

Falshe avivuss causes people to sin

The sforim on both.  sides of the aisle

Both baalie mussar and sifrei habball shem say it "peh echad"

Look at Yosef Hatzaddik when he had the niasyon

What did he say

Oy poor poor yosselle oy you are such a neb oy you need this woman  just for peace for or to raise my broken spirit oishh I am such a loser my brothers tried to kill me uchh I hate myself

Or did he say


THERE IS NO ONE GREATER IN THIS HOUSE THAN ME!!!

Gevaldddddigggg

Azus dilidusha!!!

TBC..

Shkoiach Bards!

A new shiur (from yesterday) by Rabbi Twerski where he speaks about addictions and low self-esteem:

www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/740062/Rabbi_Dr._Abraham_Twerski/Improving_Ones_Middos_and_The_Importance_of_Self_Esteem

Bardichever:
Sorry to disagree with you, BUT,
Self esteem is not falsher anivus (FA), FA is just that FA, it’s usually a calculated move to get more attention. Low Self Esteem (LES) is a disorder which can be extremely dangerous and in some cases leads to depression and other disorders like eating and sleeping. LES can be self inflicted but often maybe the result of abuse. FA only lead to more FA i.e gaava.

ok moishe lets work this out like a shtikkl gemara

your are moideh FA is high up on the gaava ladder

and we are not discussing real(lets call it clinical low self esteem IJMTA i just made that up)

does the low self esteemer like let people cut him on line in the bank  etc??

does he not get a portion at a chassunah cause he cant answer chicken or beef??

no gas cause he cant answer cash or credit??

its not low self esteem

its an emptiness in life

no goal

no accomplishments

no giving of self

no dancing on the table in shul

no singing kayl adon off key

no fun!

u chappp??

bardichev wrote on 17 Dec 2009 20:44:

I heard a shiur on genuine anivus... It didn't really sound like your discription so much.

The FA person also doesn’t let people cut him in line unless it brings on more attention or sympathy. However you are correct if you are talking about IJMTA (the non clinical version on LSE) then they are one and the same.  A non IJMTA LSE person has trouble pulling himself out of bed in the morning (and not because he was out partying, learning, or whatever one fancies, all night). On the other hand an FA or IJMTA person will stay in bed so that people will try to get him out.

Kollel Guy wrote on 17 Dec 2009 20:51:


chevra you are all wrong

it is the guy that can make a fool of himself in order

to cheer up other yidden who is the true anav


HERE COME THE CAPS

THE FA THAT DOES NOT WANT TO DAVEN FARIN-AMUD IS A FARSHTUNKENNEH BAAL GAAVE

WHEN BARDS GOES TZIM-UMMID WITH HIS FROGGIESH VOICE ITS ONE SHTIKK AVODEH OF BITTUL HAYESH!!!

On the other hand an FA or IJMTA person will stay in bed so that people will try to get him out.

MOSHEW YES 100% CORRECT

B”H we agree, now I could go daven Mincha with menuchas hanefesh. As a side, as bad as you are you’ve heard nothing yet. I refuse to go to the Shabbos because many have complained that it shteres the nerves. I am so good that during the same niggun I could mix in 3-4 different melodies.
;D ;D ;D

MOISHE  AND EVEYONE ELSE

TAKE EVERYTHING BARDICHEV SAYS WIYH MANY GRAINS OF SALT SUGAR PARIKASH ETC.

EXCEPT THE COMPLIMENTS

AND THE GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS!!!!!!!!!!!