Hi JD! Welcome Home and thank you so much for joining us. From the amount of guys here that have had the same problem it really does seem that it is related to our lust problem. My experience has been that even when my addiction was under control, as long as the taivoh was strong it interfered.
On the one hand my wife definitely came into marriage with some kind of psychological problem.
But I have found that the less physical desire I have, the more the problem dissapears. (I think it's pretty easy to explain why, but it's not important.)
Just one question: Putting this issue aside for a minute, in general is your wife happy?
Either way, stay with us and soon we'll all greet Moshiach together.
Have a great Shabbos!!!