So as I posted in another thread, after 4 or 5 days of heavy fighting, and 4 weeks clean, I fell.  I feel bad, but at the same time relieved.  I feel relieved because I feel Hashem knows I tried my hardest and knows I regret it.  I also physically feel relieved, which is allowing other emotions to come through.  I felt like Hashem was hugging me, saying "it'll get better".  I dont know if thats me trying to make myself feel better or reality, but it's what I feel.
I do want to use this low as a springboard to really go back up.  I want to set a goal for a length to get to, and I want to spend some time really refining myself in all aspects.  could someone explain how this partner stuff works and anyone wanna help me out?

Not sure what you mean by "refining yourself in all aspects," but if you want to use tis opportunity to grow, I would recommend taking this time now, when your mind is clear, to plan ahead - see where the dangers are, learn from your mistakes, and figure out what you can do differently, next time.

For me, one thing that helped was imagining myself feeling an overwhelming urge, and then picturing myself getting up and walking away. I did that a few times, so that when I actually did feel an urge, I was already trained in what to do.

Are you trying the tools of the GYE handbook in systematic order?

perhaps that would be a good idea.  my intention was more try to alleviate a large scale problem with my spirituality and middos that is manifesting in a lack of control over my P and M problem.  I doubt either can truly be solved without the other being addressed...I'll take a look at the book though...

You're right - For myself, stopping the acting out was step 1, and then continuing to grow was the next step(s).