Should I be posting this? I feel like it is a game; like if I post I will be clear of the y'h.
But it will be a journal for me- just to get my thoughts down.
i had a great shabbos (giving chizik to a community) and was clean since joing gye. (last week)  even though i knew the yh was coming back at some point.-  last night. i do not know what happened. i didnt feel guilty afterwards so much either. what a diff between the pleasure and the regret!
theres a stargedy which might work for me- reading about yom hamisa, misa issues.i took out a book today. it helps me get into perspective.
i am going to call someone tnight IYH. (elya)
i dont know what else to say- what should I feel on a day like this? how should my davening be- it usually comes to a lull, bec. who am I to daven? although i know that is the yh.
all i have to say is that i never thought i would find people with the same exact issues i have until this site- it is unbelieveable.
does someone have a number i can call at night when i feel like mast....ng?! it might push the yh off. Is this such thing?
sg

Hey SG,

YES! You should be posting this. And not only that, realize that you just did something thats way ahead of how most people react when they first come here. People think that when they come here, their problems are solved. Thats wrong. When you come here, the solution begins.

Stick with it SG!

-Yiddle

If you are in touch with various people from the forum, you can sometimes talk to them by phone. If you'd like to PM me, I can give you my GV#, and we can discuss when you can call me.

As far as posting after a fall - I'd say you should post on your regular thread, because this is part of your journey...but i don't think the purpose is to make it disappear. The purpose of posting is to make it real, to admit it, and to face it. Then you can figure out what you can do differently next time, how you can grow from this experience.

You should feel proud that you're posting this, and continuing to grow!

Duvid Chaim's phone groups has a call roster of like 26 guys who share numbers with each other. I suggest you join that group.

This is a disease. Don't eat yourself up with guilt. You are not bad trying to get good, you are sick trying to get better.

Read the handbooks and follow the tools in progressive order, my friend.

And it also sounds like you need to read the "Attitude handbook".
Have you?