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This website is an eye opener for me
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: This website is an eye opener for me 1898 Views

This website is an eye opener for me 28 Oct 2008 19:59 #617

  • nomer
This website is an eye opener for me as I've been dealing with this for years and I finally found a home to read about and discuss it with anonymity. The posts in this thread reveal a group of sincere Jews who are afflicted by similar urges. It's a tough battle! It seems a lack of Tznius is at an all time high, although I haven't lived in previous generations. We are going to need a good solution for the problems the internet has created. What filter really works to block out all the evil, yet allow the good in the quick manner that we've become accustomed to? yiyasher kochachem to the people sharing their struggles and to all those helping us with them.
One piece of chizuk: one of the Rebbes zy'a (maybe Gerrer) said that feeling as if the temptations before us are too difficult to bear is similar to hearing that the Commander in Chief sent his troops into battle with no ammunition or artillery. How Ludicrous?! L'Havdil, Hashem sent each one of us to this battlefield with enough ammo to win the war and you guys are doing a great job putting it all together!
Last Edit: 28 Oct 2008 22:58 by .

Re: This website is an eye opener for me 28 Oct 2008 22:54 #623

  • elya k
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Welcome.  You're in the right place.
Elya K was the first  GYE hotline moderator for couples struggling with Shmiras Eiynaim issues in their marriage.  Elya is the author of 6 books, among them Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery, Help Her Heal with Carol Sheets,  Ambushed by Betrayal: The Survival Guide for Betrayed Partners on their Heroes’ Journey to Healthy Intimacy with Michele Saffier. 


FREE EBOOK ON THE GYE SITE AT: Mask In the Mirror (guardyoureyes.com)

Elya K. has been coaching people worldwide for over 10 years for Shmiras Eiyanim issues. 
For a free 15 minute consultation call 901-248-6001.
Last Edit: 28 Oct 2008 22:58 by .

Re: This website is an eye opener for me 28 Oct 2008 23:02 #624

  • the.guard
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Welcome "nomer" to our community. There's so much chizuk, teshuvah, inspiration and Ahavas Yisrael going on here on the forum. We are happy to have another yid join and be a "Ba Letaher".

You asked about filters. Please see our Filters Section. There are over 20 options there, and plenty of info to get you started. A good filter is the FIRST step. Without a filter, all the chizuk in the world won't be enough. There will be weak moments down the line, and having it within hands reach is not going to let you start to heal...

May Hashem be with you!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: This website is an eye opener for me 29 Oct 2008 19:33 #636

  • Mevakesh Hashem
Bruchim Habaim Nomer!!!

The more people that join, the weaker the Yetzer Hara's force is! Just by joining you have changed the world for the better!

Chazak V'Ematz!
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Re: This website is an eye opener for me 29 Oct 2008 21:30 #645

  • nomer
I have a filter, however, I can find plenty of provocative stimulation on what's allowed through the filter without having to find a loophole around it. The only way this works for me is if my wife has the password for the whole computer and that's somewhat annoying. That's why I was asking for the best solution to have the freedom to see news, etc. yet nothing that's clearly provocative.
I'm now on day 10. I thought it was longer than that but I just checked the calendar. It is so easy to forget and it seems like forgetfulness is a curse. How easy we forget the many times we've fallen before? It seems so strange and silly. Then again it is silliness that enters us and only with this Ruach Shtus can we sin (source for 'ein adam chotei elah im kein nichnas bo ruach shtus' anyone?). Then again, forgetfulness is a Bracha. We would've been worse off remembering all our sins all the time - so depressing! If our wives didn't forget the pain of childbirth, they wouldn't have more children. Yet, at a higher level, one is supposed to recall his sins ('es chatai ani mazkir hayom') and constantly do teshuva for them. I think 'll wait till my self esteem improves for that one.
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Re: This website is an eye opener for me 29 Oct 2008 21:50 #646

  • the.guard
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Sotah 3a.
ריש לקיש אמר אין אדם עובר עבירה אלא אם כן נכנס בו רוח שטות שנא' איש איש כי תשטה אשתו תשטה כתיב

Rash Lakish would know. He was there, and he came back.

Get yourself a filter that works with a Kosher server, like Jnet. They have amazing technology today which allows you to browse anything and yet blocks the bad stuff from the sites...
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: This website is an eye opener for me 30 Oct 2008 14:10 #656

  • snax
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You can try Ayin Roeh http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Filters/Accountability.asp It is a service wherein clients have a chevrusa, or an internet "accountibility partner," who receives an email report of all sites you have visited.

As the gemara says R' Yochenon ben Zakei said to his talmidim
יהי רצון שיהא עליכם מורא שמים כמורא בשר ודם.

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