Perhaps next time you could set a specific amount of time, even for something like fixing your computer.

Glad we're here for you!

KEEP ON LORRYING!!

Vos is eine "Lorry", mein rebb'n?

lorry = truck in Great Britain.
As in, keep on lorrying.

Ah, US & UK: "two countries separated by a common language."

what word do u use in canada eh ?

It's tougher to find the right word in Canada. After all, their alphabet has only 25 letters. It goes from B to Z. Eh?

went straight to night seder and back again b'H - 1st clean day (again...)

Each day is valuable, and cause for celebration. One day at a time, you can do this!

By all means, KEEP ON LORRYING, CHAP!

:'( i was driving to the mikva, saw a trigger, chased the lust, fell... on the way to the mikva.... feel quite low at the moment, im trying to tell myself ive improved, i know i have but i feel like the whole week has been bad and im in a rut again. Once i allow myself to lust again, it all comes back to the surface and its second nature again. i dont know how to pick myself up quicker... i know in my mind that i dont have to rebuild from scratch but in my heart it really feels like i do...

i wont be able to read your replies till sunday but knowing you guys are there is comforting in itself, thanks for being there. 

have a good shabbos

Hope you're having a good shabbos, in every way!

By the way, what do you consider a "fall?"

You are reading this after Shabbos, so here goes an 'after Shabbos' post:

The Mashgiach, Harav Matisyahu Salamon Shlita pointed out that the addition of Attah Chonantonu that we say on Motzoei Shabbos isn't an 'after Shabbos' prayer, it is a 'preweek' prayer. We ask hashem for help by saying Avinu Malkeinu, hachel aleinu hayamim habaim likraseinu lesholom chasichim mikol chet umnikim mikol avon umdubokim beyirasechah!!!

Last week went the way it was. it is past history by now. This week shall will be clean, pure, & holy!!

[BTW a [b]mouse [/b]shouldn't have a hard time forgetting the past. After all, Chazal tell us that eating from what a mouse ate is kosho leshikcha!!!  ;D ]

(Next Friday you may even think that you don't need to go to the mikve. You are pure without it!!!)

Thanks guys.

sb - I had a great shabbos as you'll see below (it must have been your tefillos). Unfortunately when I talk about a 'fall' i mean mast... & h'zl  :-[ ....

yh - thanks, i also try to have that kavono in atoh chonontonu - its my prep for the week!

I started doing 'windows to your soul'. I've found it really helpful. I did it on the train on friday and then I sang inspirational/emotional songs to myself as i walked down the street. I saw a trigger approaching and i closed  my eyes and said, 'Hashem, please help me not to look at her, hold my hand and dont let go, shield me and protect me, get me through this'. I managed to walk past her without taking a second look and then I went up a gear b'H. I felt charged and psyched myself up for kabolos shabbos and I had a really good shabbos. Whenever I heard heals or womens voice outside my window on shabbos afternoon, I just took a deep breath and thought to myself, 'i dont need to look, im not looking today'. So far, my shemira enayim has been on another level since then.

i rethought my diyuk from last weeks hagbo'oh (see posts last week). It was a simun that i need to go up a notch, that i need to be mazir myself a bit more, i didnt take the hint so i was made to fall to see it...

(im splitting these up coz otherwise they'll be too long - basically, i think too much)

so my shul gave me haftoroh yesterday (maybe they were hinting that i dont need to oversleep and go to another shul for mitsvos like last week...) and i like to be medayik what the message is. so here goes.

Maftir - (12:15) 'vatisoger miriam michutz lamachaneh shivas yomim, veha'am lo noso ad heoseif miriam' - i was 'out of the GYE machane' for a week and you guys didnt journey on without me. That contains 2 connotations, firstly, if i have a bad week it effects everyone else here and i slow down everyones progress. But on the other hand, you guys didnt travel off without me, you waited for me to catch up and you were there for me and I really appreciate that 

Haftoroh - Zecharia (3:3-5) Yehoshua (which happens to be one of my hebrew names...) was wearing dirty clothes but the malach said that his sin has been removed and commanded the people around to clothe him in clean ones - an encouraging sign! (4:6) a famous possuk 'lo bechayil veloh bekoach ki im beruchi omar Hashem' 'not with armies and not with strength but with my spirit says Hashem' - let go and let G-d, pure and simple, stop fighting and let G-d's spirit settle and take care of it!

Glad you had a good shabbos...

Focusing on one day at a time can often be very helpful. Even if you've had a slip, try to have a couple of things that you've set aside to do, or think about, so that you can get out of that mindset.