Well you COULD just go to mikva again...it doesn't bite.

I did!

And I forgot it again!!!!


WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dov wrote on 14 Feb 2011 00:56:


This is better

Dov I think we're going to need to add senility to your list of problems...



Oh, and Dov? I think we're going to need to add senility to your list of problems...

sorry to hijack the thread... 
After being sober for only half a week, i can already see a marked difference.
I'm more efficient at work, i feel less of a need to be controlling, more of a calm trust in Hashem, more hislahvus in my general avodas Hashem.

acting out just numbs me and holds me down, stops me from trully living my life - its just not worth it...

super!
keep on living!

Has anyone seen a bar of soap on a mikkie floor?

It has "Dove" embossed in it with the last letter scratched out.




Ha.

an honest mouse wrote on 14 Feb 2011 13:39:


You are now a Marked Man.

You have been marked with indelible ink!

This half-week mark will stay with you forever!


You are a Lucky Man!!!

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 14 Feb 2011 18:19:

Dov(e)'s archnemesis

Oh, go and dunk it in a mikvah, will you?

This morning i was feeling VERY week, very alone - i felt there was no alternative but to act out, i had no choice, it was too powerful for me, acting out would make everything feel better i wanted to repeat last weeks acting out scene, i was helpless.....

..... so i called one of the choshuver GYE'ers (who may wish to remain nameless...?) and talked it through and i feel myself again (mostly) bH i dont feel so alone and so low anymore and the fire has been rekindled in my soul.

Thank you GYE and thank you........! 

Gevaldig!

I had 2 more episodes on wednesday where i felt powerless and had to act out. In the 2nd one, i actually had the material in my hand which i was going to use - but i ran away from the scene and called my partner - he brought me back to reality bH. But for the 3rd i gave in and allowed myself to be taken for the ride and i acted out.

On the one hand, i had 2 great successes, both of them where situations where i would usually act out and instead i reached out - that's big progress  - the score was 2-1 to my recovery and its progress not perfection right?

But on the other hand, without getting myself too down about it, coz it was a successful day on the whole, why couldnt i repeat the feat the 3rd time and reach out? i think that i was viewing it as "it was so hard today ive done so well, i can enjoy myself once out of 3". In other words, i was tired of changing the pattern in my brain a 3rd time in one day and i felt it was easier to give in - the pleasure i was anticipating is still bigger in my brain than the pain and necessity for stopping...

Two successes when you reached out...so - for today - are you ready to reach out every time, yet?

Or not?

If we are, what does that say about you (for today)?

And if we are not, what does that say about us (for today)?

how u doing mouse?

thinking of you.