dov wrote on 30 Jan 2011 05:09:


Integrity, integrity, integrity... hmm, sounds familiar... nice aroma...

I know, that's  a variety of Scandinavian cheese, no?
:D (it says "cheesy" next to this smiley...)

Moiradige Mouse!

KOT!

EBD

sorry to dissapoint you guys, but the same opportunity presented itself tpday and after having a rough day... i took it... feeling pretty low atm...

That doesn't wipe of the earlier success!

Is a score of 1-1 the same as 0-1 ??

You call yourself an honest "mouse".

If so, one can say that you have performed a clinical test...

One time you were tempted and went in accompanied by someone else who knew about the nisayon.
results: YEAH! The YH got stomped.

A different time you were tempted and went in un-accompanied.
results: A low feeling honest mouse.

CONCLUSIONS: Whenever subject was accompanied by others (on the phone/in person), the YH got stomped.

KOT!, no looking back -besides for learning puposes.

EBD

A little hora'ah in avodas Hashem that I learnt today when trying to push a car out of the snow. If you try to push straight away the tires will often just spin or the car will just slide around (almost hitting the neighboring car). However if you rock the car BACK AND FORTH, even if you have to do it several times, you'll get the momentum and the car will just SPRING forward. (The car was in drive and the driver was with us pushing )

an honest mouse wrote on 30 Jan 2011 22:27:
Well, that's a long way from searching like a moron until you found it and then jumping into the pit you just dug for yourself without a life-preserver!

You were not searching for it, and you took your life-preserver in with you: us! Thanks for the post, HM. You are definitely a member here and it is an honor to serve w/you!

wow dov thanks for those words! and thanks every1 for your words of encouragement.

I think i learnt 2 things from the fall.

1) I have downloaded the new design for living ie. the ability to live like a man in recovery, instead of escaping to lust, but apparently, only up to a certain stress level. I can use recovery for everyday troubles and stresses but not for bigger once-in-a-while ones.

I dont think i need to get majorly stressed out about this, ive come a long way and i just need to keep on trucking - the more i live like a man in recovery (ie run to gye people/friends and not lust for help) the better at it i will become and hopefully - by the next time there is a major stress, it will be my natural reaction.

2) my recovery is weak on the weekend coz its not in my routine and i generally dont find that i need it so much coz the weekends are a more comfortable enjoyable time usually. I need to work on making sure im living in recovery on a sunday even if im usually ok, coz as this past sunday showed - Hashem can make any day stressful & any day serene, we never know what He has in store for us around the corner.

hi AHM,
your learning from experience and striving are hallmarks of a great person mouse!

That picture is geshmak!

I have no idea what the thread is discussing but I think that picture is GREAT!!

Now don't get me wrong, because I think its a great picture.  But wouldn't "an honest mouse" not be jumping in with a helmet?  Wouldn't "an honest mouse" be sitting there in a chair making it known that he knows a helmet won't do much to help him escape?  (sort of like a filter won't help an addict looking for lust)

Nu, freg nisht ken kashess mit cheez!!

it was a birthday card i got, it said: Older, but wiser

supposed to signify learning from experience
end of story

but it is a cute picture

Thanks for pic ZS, great kavonoh!

Things are work are getting busy, Im being bumped up with what im expected to with more responsibility, which is great but im not sure what im doing, its all pretty stressful.

Plus my kid is sick for the past week, so little sleep, dr visits, babysitter juggling. The tyre was flat on the car, the washing machine broke.

I'm having trouble staying in recovery, im living on the edge the whole time, feeling hard done by and wanting to sulk rather than remembering that this too is part of Hashem's plan for me. I just dont have time to take a deep breath and plug in my recovery brain...

I've not been very sober this week... but im trying to view it as an exception, not a new cycle. ( i haven't looked at p*** for about 6 weeks!)

While writing im starting to think that this is all an opportunity to practice, to go up a level in recovery and be able to use the new design for living even when the stress levels are really high.

I will take a deep breath now, knowing that Hashem is right here with me and trust that He knows what He's doing for me. If I cant cope on the job, I'll find a different one, He is there for me, He has a Plan and I feel secure in His Arms.

Thanks for listening!

To continue the theme from my previous post, here is a verse from a shalsheles song that I find to be very mechazek.

"My child, there is a G-d above,
Who watches over us with love,
at times it may seem so hard to understand.

When darkness falls, when we feel lost,
we know, where we must place our trust,
remember that there's a Master Plan".