thanks guys (UAJ & ZS) - your words are beautiful - a real nechomoh and an inspiration (especially the quote from rav wolbe as i happened to be thinking about him just a few minutes ago!). I must just point out that i used my words with careful kavonoh - i chose the word "rewind" instead of "erase" because i dont believe that i can erase those 2 weeks, but i have strengthened the old wiring so in a sense i have rewound my recovery slightly.

To use a moshul to explain - if i have captured footage on video recording, if i have rewound it, it's still there, i just have to press play again ie go in the right direction again to go back there (which i believe im doing), mah shein kein if i've erased it, then i have to capture the footage all over again - we dont pasken like the 2nd man de'omar (bH!!)!!!!

thanks for the inspiration guys, i love u both dearly and have enourmous respect for you!

an honest mouse wrote on 19 Jan 2011 22:37:


Me too!  ;D



& that is beside for the love and enormous respect that I have for our mutual friend An Honest Mouse!  :D

AHM,

Thinking of you, I know how you feel and am glad things are on the up,

Be bekesher,

Much love and admiration as always,

Y

Keep on trucking, my friend...

Hi guys!

with Hashem's help im back to my old-new ways (ie recovery) for over a week so far... odaat!

I have this problem whereby i find it very diffuclt to get up for shacharis on time. I am be'etzem the type of guy who should be in shacharis on time every morning, i am with mincha & mariv, i love davening - i just cant get out of bed...

It used to be ok before i worked, coz i could just go to a later minayn, but now, if i dont get out of bed on time - ive missed it - me'uvos sh'eino yochol l'saken (?)

But.. recovery has bH made me realise what i was doing with it, based on the rebbe reb dov's heilege insight. I have been berating myself inside for not being at the level i ought to be - thats ga'avah - it causes rid and leads to lust... wait - for a lustaholic thats not such a good thing... hmmm

k - new mehalech! so im not the guy that never misses a minyan, i have trouble getting out of bed... nu nu... let go of it!!! try new things, fine, eg going to bed earlier, another alarm, whatever - but dont give it too much weight!!! Hashem doesn't want me to get so down about shacharis that i will escape to youknowwhere.

It's all about the right balance - on the one hand, work on it and try and improve day by day - on the other hand, accept where im holding and get on with my life.

(does that make any sense?)

mouse

makes sense to me

sounds really good that you are back on track, living in recovery

you are the 'shteigingest' mouse i know

YOU LAZY-GOOD-FOR-NOTHING!

GET YOURSELF OUT OF BED THIS INSTANT OR YOU ELSE YOU WILL MISS YOUR CHEESE!!

FLATTEN YOUR EARS & TUCK IN YOUR TAIL. GET YOURSELF IN PROPER ORDER!


.....and don't forget to daven first!!!



(Those who daven nicely will get the choiciest slices of Swiss [with the holes, yum!!!])

i have it in confidence that if you only eat the holes you don't make a bracha...

a victory to share bH! Last night i had the opportunity to be alone in a house with a few acting out opportunities, because i had to drop something off there + my wife suddenly, unexpedtedly became t'meyoh right in the middle of the muttar zman + my chavrusah had to leave early suddenly.

3 contributing factors to a fall for me - 1) rid of no wife, 2) sudden opening up of schedule, 3) opportunity.

i could feel the urge flowing through my veins but i thought, 7 mins till mariv, learn till then, daven and then you can act out. so what did i do after davening? i called my partner - but he wasnt available.... past = fall.

Last night, for the 1st time, i called someone else! he was my shomer while i dropped off what i had to and then we had a great connecting chat!

much better to go into shabbos like this bh!

have a great shabbos GYE!

gevaldig!
keep spreading the light

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 26 Jan 2011 18:32:


Zem are you sure?

Great to hear Mouse! That's incredible!!

Good Shabbos everyone!

Smells like some integrity to me.

...mmmmm

Nice aroma!

That is great!

You must feel pretty incredible...like trying on a suit, and finding that it fits just right, so comfortable...

Gevaldig! 

It is like.....um....er........dunno. You guys are poets?  :D


I can't think of a fitting simile. 


I will suffice to say that it sounds good!  ;D

oooh!

I forgot!


KOT!    KUTGW!