I haven't posted much recently (on my own thread that is). I was sick again this week.

two recurring things are a problem for me, 1) mondays, 2) when I'm sick.

I've definately reached a new awareness of my powerlessness during the last month or two and during the week (except mondays), i call my partner for help and use the techniques I've learned.

Mondays however, I think, are becuase the weekend's are much easier, I have shabbos, I'm at home with my family, I have more time to learn, I spend more time with the kids - bekitzur, I'm much more comfortable than when I'm at work, I think I've been lulling myself into a false sense of security and my recover kinda goes a bit into autopilot and then im just not ready to handle the greater stress and the easier access to shmutz...

When I'm sick, I'm just not interested in recovery, I just gravitate to the shmutz, I wanna be on my own and entertained...

These are long term things I have to sort out...

Today I had 3 mini victories bH. There was a picture I had seen on a non-p*graphic site which I was tempted to use to act out today. I called my partner on the way to work and talked it out and bH it wasnt a problem.

I was tempted to lust with the cashier at the bank, but bH I just got off the phone with my heiliger friend reb yosef hatsadik, that kept me clean! Thanks chavrusa!

I was tempted to lust with a picture I saw out of the corner of my eye in my boss' office, bH I didnt even look at it.

Fantastic on the victories, and also fantastic on your awareness - let us know what you plan to do to work on those issues!

Being in touch with a partner is great, too!

I got these from the gemach.  They're great for when I'm happy and proud beyond words.
Also for when I ate too many potato chips, and I don't have access to tums.

hi AHM,
nice to see you posting and it's great to read about your victories and your self-awareness. sounds like you need some Monday morning quarterbacking. maybe make a kvius to call someone every monday morning or learn something special to give you the 'wake-up' on monday mornings.
zs

I spoke to rabbeinu steve yesterday about my monday issue. He had some great ideas.

before i go to work, i should concentrate on all the good in my life and feel grateful to Hashem for giving it to me. My wife, my kids, a job, the fact that im frum and have who to learn from, GYE, my relationship with my parents etc etc

and also, for all the maalos of my wife and how she was created just for me. Hashem designated her as my lifelong partner and best friend.

I should also check in with a couple of GYE buddies during the day.

bH it has helped A LOT thank you reb steve!!

half an hour to go and relaxed bH

also, i finally have 3 guys here in the UK that i can talk to! that ought to be a big help.

that's great to hear!

thanks for sharing

Today was another example of how when i dont lust during the day at work, im much more available when i come home. Im more able to give to my wife and kids. oy - i guess we can only realise how widespread the ramifications of acting out are when we start to pull away...

Yup...while we're garbage, we convince ourselves that it only has a small influence on our lives. Once we get out, we can look back and realize how crazy we were...and how happy we are to free!

Silent that is very true. We dont realize how bad off we were untill we are a little bit out of the garbage.

i scored a new kind of victory today for the 1st time, even though it was only temporary. I was wasting away time lusting with pictures that aren't p*** and i was heading closer and closer to acting out my boss called me into his room and I saw that as I a friendly reminder from my Father, so I called my partner within about a minute of acting out and I managed to get back to normal.... at least for an hour... then I acted out.

but i believe this is a victory that will be there forever, it cant be taken away and the y/h cant trick me into thinking it was really worthless.

The problem was that I was all hyped up for monday but too complacent today - I have to treat every day the same way that r' steve suggested, not just mondays.

definitely a victory and it is precious

keep shteiging!

an honest mouse wrote on 30 Nov 2010 21:25:


May this be a lasting victory!

May this be the last time you have such a style victory!







Our goal is Progress; but it must be Progress toward Perfection!

That's great!

What could you do next time to make it even better?

Give up to win.