thanks for the prodding, i will discuss it with my partner and most probably go ahead with it in some form, how much is $200 in ? ??

According to an online currency converter, $200 is 126.0478 British Pounds.

Disclaimer: The following is not meant for everybody, just for addicts:

Personally, acting out would be the worst punishment I could think of. Cash payments mean little given the fact that every addict I know has spent more than a few hundred dollars on their addiction for downloads, videos, phone bills, and shrink visits, anyway....it never stopped them. And saying "Dov, that's cuz you are on a high madreiga!" is silly. If anything, it's because I sunk to such a low madreiga. That's how I know it.

So I suggest that if you want to really punish yourself, just keep acting out your lust - or as my sponsor would put it: "keep investigating" - until it ruins your life in enough ways that you really hate acting out, for a change. (So will the people around you, who's lives it may ruin, as well, but that might be necessary for you. You won't know what pain was needed, until you reach the point that you really want to quit.)


Then I guarantee you will


And then you will finally see clearly that you can't stop. Even though you really, truly want to. That's addiction.

I do not say this toungue-in-cheek. I mean it. But please don't put it on my 'plaitzes' - don't attribute this 'apikorsus' to me. I am not advising anyone to do anything.

Because I believe that whether I mean the above literally or not, the chances are 10:1 that any addict will end up doing just that, anyway! Has Torah or conscience truly stopped you or me till now? I think not.

I love you, Mouse.

Instead, why not try hitting bottom while still on top?

Touche', my friend!

oy oy oy, i hear you both, you're both right... obviously i would want to go with kedusha's mehalech but i fear dov's is perhaps the only thing that will work.

I'm gonna surrender that fear - 'Hashem, I surreneder my fear of hitting rock bottom and my worrying about what the future will bring, I give myself over to You just for today, one clean day is all that matters right now, please give me the strength to get through the rest of the day the way You want me to.'

(the avoidah is to be able to do it again tomorrow morning and keep it up... there i go worrying about the future again... : )

dov wrote on 26 Oct 2010 17:39:


I love you too! its people like you that remind mice like me that there is a mouse-trap surrounding the cheese!  :D

a ha'orah about opportunity. I find sudden opportunities to be a massive trigger, 'i have the opportunity to act out now, i have to, ive got no choice.'    total rubbish, an opportunity is all it is, just an opportunity, it doesn't mean i have to do anything at all.

In fact, an opportunity is nothing to do with me and if it has nothing to do with me, it must be part of Hashem's plan. Therefore, the opportunity is the chance to surrender one more time, to choose Hashem and life instead of fleeting pleasure and then pain.

The next time an opportunity arises, i pray that i will have the strength to remember this and put it into action with Hashem's help.

It seems that saying these things you are writing about, especially (but not exclusively) the tefillos, is most beneficial. Saying them together with another person is sometimes helpful too. Come to think of it, we Jews 'invented' tefiloh betzibur - saying things like "Ashamnu", "Avinu Malkeinu", and "Adon Olam" together out loud with other yidden. It's gotta have something to it!

Maybe every now and then when crazy stupid ideas of little lust liberties pop into your mind you might enjoy making a quiet 'meow' sound...."There is a cat near this cheese..."

Just a cute behavioral tag. They are useful. In yiddishkeit we call some of them 'minhagim'.)  It's not always so bad to be a mouse.

Honest i also find it very difficult to forgo those special lust opportunities.
Dov i didnt understand your answer to kedusha about hitting rock bottom while on top.

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 21 Oct 2010 15:24:
silentbattle wrote on 20 Oct 2010 22:05:


ok i have decided to try a combination of these ideas (thanks guys!):
I have been mekabel upon myself until next monday (not included) that when lust strikes, i will NOT act out before i do the following;
1) get up from my desk, take a short walk around the office and surrender the desire to Hashem, reminding myself that I am powerless and it makes my life unmanagable,
2) say the tehilim's for that day of the month,
3) text/call my wife to say i was just thinking of her & i love her,
4) call my partner to ask for help.

If i act out without doing one of these things, i will give ?50 to tzedoko ($78.35 atm).


please feedback whether this makes sense or whether my addicts brain has messed it all up! thanks!

Frumfiend The star wrote on 27 Oct 2010 03:58:


They are indeed opportunities - to reach the Madreigah of Yosef Hatzaddik.

It seems that Dov was agreeing with me.

HM,

Sounds like a good idea - give it a try!

Mouse go for it. 

However if you see the money is not doing it as Dov pointed out then you should change planes. Sometimes we may feel like we are doing what we can because we spent money as a knas. And it turns out to be a emotional cushion more then help.

Keep it up....

David

wow... this has become the place to hang around for insight and wisdom!