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The mouse being honest

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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

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TOPIC: The mouse being honest 72969 Views

Re: I just fell 06 May 2010 13:55 #64099

Chazak Amenu
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I have found it to be similar about the sick thing. i am not sure if it is because i was m*s*u*r*a*i*g a lot anyway or if felt like i am sick i deserve to do what i can to "make myself feel better". that is a great point. i also felt pretty isolated during the time away from GYE. we both need to find something to occupy ourselves that will distract us from being isolated. congratulations on being able to hold back while being sick!

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Re: I just fell 06 May 2010 21:00 #64176

Dov
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but it will come gradually as I work out whats messed up. A problem is that my wife told me, when she found out about my addiciton, that she was very happy with how I was and wouldn't have changed anything. Im very giving when Im around her and my kids, its when Im by myself that I get selfish... Just to clarify though, I only plan on calling her if there is a little bit of lust and I just have to hear her voice and connect with her to remind myself that I already have all that I need. I wouldn't call to discuss the lust itself.

Understood and I share the same thing. Connecting with her to remind my heart that I have what I need in another person - in her - is all it takes sometimes and that's beautiful.

Re the fact that she was satisfied with you before: Who cares? It's not about other peoples' measure of you, but about your percetion of yourself that matters. In fact, the fact that she has such a positive view of you sounds like it may be a bit of a surprise to you! Perhaps you already see yourself unecessarily (or overly) negatively? That was a gift from her, right there.

Re "as I work out what's messed up": I am just here to say that working the steps (and also staying sober) automatically does a job on what's wrong with us, and there may be no need to pretend we need to fix anything. G-d will fix it. If I really fixed it, I wouldn't need G-d, at all.

That's just my attitude, that's all.

"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

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Re: I just fell 07 May 2010 18:35 #64310

commando612

dov wrote on 29 Apr 2010 15:17:

But by "a multi-pronged approach" I do not mean a really long list of tricks. Please understand me here. If I am not living - or learning how to live - my life differently - for a different motivation and in a different way - then I am doomed to be the same guy and have the same troubles. Sure it takes time, but the tricks are just temporary measures, and if inside I really have not started to seriously give myself to Hashem, then what I will be left with after "resisting" 553 temptations, is essentially either a tremendous resentment to G-d for witholding ALL THAT PLEASURE from me. Tell me, why else do people fall after a month, two weeks, or whatever, over and over? What's really building up? Aren't they fighting with all their might AND asking Hashem to help them with the fight?

The problem is that they are fighting at all! Even WITH Hashem! It's like a guy in a rehab lock-down. Take away the drink for long enough and he goes crazy. Even if Hashem Himself helps keep the drink from him - it doesn't matter who's doing that. Without a real change, he will eventually have to drink again. He'll have to. So, fighting this is not the answer. But neither is giving into it - that we found out and it's why we are here, of course. (rest deleted)

This is one of the most thought-provoking jewel of a posting I've come across on GYE. You're causing me to rethink my whole "military approach" to these matters. Thank you Dov !

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Re: I just fell 12 May 2010 22:05 #65079

an honest mouse
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I've read a few people write here that we should share our victories as well as our falls and difficulties so here goes.

I'm a guy that really thrives with structure and really doesn't without and in the past, whenever my schedule suddenly changed and I was left without much to do, the lust would strike and I would almost always act out. Today, my schedule suddenly changed and I had about 45 minutes without a structure but the lust didn't really come and I think I know why.

I've decided to try out something recently, where if I have something I want to do like chilling out or a hobby-type activity which I enjoy and I also have something productive which I have to do, I try to make sure to do the productive thing first. I did that today and therefore when the free time came, I was in prodcutive real-life mode so fake fantasy stuff wasn't attractive. In other words, when I'm productive I feel fullfilled and fulfillment from real life is much better than fake fantasised fulfillment! So if I start off the day that way, it sets the tone for real life as opposed to fake life.

thanks for listening! have a great day!

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Re: I just fell 12 May 2010 22:09 #65080

Yosef Hatzadik OFFLINE Platinum Boarder A GYE'er since 2010 Posts: 2986 Karma: 10	GREAT!!!! ...but what about procrastinators like me??
	*Yosef Hatzadik's Ha'oros* *Tov veyoshor Hashem al kein yoreh chata'im baderech!* Last Edit: by .

Re: I just fell 12 May 2010 22:24 #65084

an honest mouse Current streak: 13 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 600 Karma: 6	oh Im the worlds biggest procrastinator !!! I'm just trying something new....
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Re: I just fell 12 May 2010 23:30 #65092

silentbattle Current streak: 1628 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3734 Karma: 15	That sounds great - maybe I'll try that!
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Re: I just fell 13 May 2010 16:52 #65230

Yosef Hatzadik OFFLINE Platinum Boarder A GYE'er since 2010 Posts: 2986 Karma: 10	an honest mouse wrote on 12 May 2010 22:24: oh Im the worlds biggest procrastinator !!! I'm just trying something new.... You mean the worlds second-biggest procrastinator? Am I not #1?
	*Yosef Hatzadik's Ha'oros* *Tov veyoshor Hashem al kein yoreh chata'im baderech!* Last Edit: by .

Re: I just fell 13 May 2010 17:19 #65238

Maccabee	lol with that type of gaivah you're sure to make headway with the YH. (in a good way)
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Re: I just fell 13 May 2010 17:21 #65239

Yosef Hatzadik OFFLINE Platinum Boarder A GYE'er since 2010 Posts: 2986 Karma: 10	I am a big Anav too! I just use them in all the wrong places!
	*Yosef Hatzadik's Ha'oros* *Tov veyoshor Hashem al kein yoreh chata'im baderech!* Last Edit: by .

Re: I just fell 13 May 2010 17:27 #65241

Maccabee	There is a vort from the kotzker that everyday his chasidim should walk around with two pieces of paper one in each pocket. One said "b'shvili nivra ha'olam" and the other said something along the lines of "les asar pnuy miney (there is no corner empty of Him" the kuntz the kotzker would say is to know when to pull out which paper.
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Re: I just fell 13 May 2010 17:32 #65242

Yosef Hatzadik OFFLINE Platinum Boarder A GYE'er since 2010 Posts: 2986 Karma: 10	If I would know when to use which, would I be on this forum? ???
	*Yosef Hatzadik's Ha'oros* *Tov veyoshor Hashem al kein yoreh chata'im baderech!* Last Edit: by .

Re: I just fell 13 May 2010 18:06 #65246

Chazak Amenu Current streak: 378 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 526 Karma: 0	Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 13 May 2010 16:52: an honest mouse wrote on 12 May 2010 22:24: oh Im the worlds biggest procrastinator !!! I'm just trying something new.... You mean the worlds second-biggest procrastinator? Am I not #1? both of you ar wrong. sorry to be so frank about but i am the #1!
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Re: I just fell 13 May 2010 22:16 #65286

an honest mouse Current streak: 13 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 600 Karma: 6	dudes! I would say that it's only fair that in my own thread I get to be no. 1!!! >
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Re: I just fell 13 May 2010 22:18 #65287

Chazak Amenu Current streak: 378 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 526 Karma: 0	fine lets make a compromise, i agree you are #1 overall but i am the #1 procrastinator! you can't even beat my reason for being the biggest one! just ask i will tell you!
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