Kutun, you're a riot.

Honest mouse. Like you said, it's all about "getting out of our heads". An addict's head is sick. We need to connect with others more and more and more. Don't have 1 partner, have 3. And join the 12-Step phone conferences, morning and noon, and join SA groups. And work with other people in your job. Don't be alone. Do things with the family. Learn with a chavrusah. An addict's mind is a dangerous place to go alone.

See this page for more on hitting bottom while still on-top: www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=2403

HM,

Through thick and thin, the Ribbono Shel Olam is smiling at you - the Heiliger Guard, one of the busiest people on the planet, posted on your thread! 

guardureyes wrote on 20 Oct 2010 18:19:

:



:D ;D



A form a semicha, I think.

8)
Kutan S. Hachabura, C.R.

(Certified Riot)

Kedusha and Guard in one day- It is high it is far it is gone- Home Run!

This is a progresive illness. Today its mast. Tommorow it will be following women. You could get arrested. Or you could start going to the red light district. Imagine your shver finding out about that. How about almost getting divorced if your wife finds out. Your wife even actualy divorce you. Imagine your embarrasment if people find out why. How about dealing with a crying depresed wife .

wow wow wow, i didnt expect such a response and from guard as well!

Kutan - thanks for your words of nechomo and congratulations on your semicha!
Kedusha - you're right about consequences, what can u suggest that is enough but not too much?
Guard - im totally honoured that you took the time to post, thanks! the problem with 3 guys to call, is that im in the UK so the time difference is a problem, some of the guys i know from steves call are in israel but its expensive to call from my mobile... im thinking about sa more and more...
david - hi nice to see you here! im imagining your voice saying that...
frumfiend - im already there with half of that unfortunately, already following women a little and my wife knows...i dealt with a crying depressed wife for a few months, thats one of the things putting me off going to sa...you're right tho, it is progressive

btw, to have everyone jump in and try to help is extremely humbling and comforting... thanks!  :'(
(there should be an emoticon with a smiley tear...)

If it's money to Tzedaka, it has to be something you can afford, but that will hurt.  It cannot count as Maaser or be used as a tax deduction - so it's really coming out of your pocket.

Check out the Taphsic Method - it might be just what you need to get on track.

It doesn't hurt to have a few people you can call - and not all of them have to be from GYE! As Guard pointed out, we need to get out of our sick mindset.

Another option is to plan ahead. I always say this, I know, but that's cuz i think it works. Think of what you can do the next time you find yourself riding the lust train. Have a few activities set up, and imagine yourself walking away from lust to (fill in the blank - write poetry, practice playing a musical instrument, go for a jog, etc).

Run the scenario through your mind a few times, until that becomes your new script!

thanks sb and kedusha, i will try out both your suggestions. this place is trully wonderful and you are all trully wonderful!  :'(

It takes one to know one.

Kedusha wrote on 20 Oct 2010 21:43:


There is a modified Taphsic method mentioned in a chizuk email recently...  where your neder is to do a series of positive things before acting out...

Hi Mouse,

I was given the heads up that this thread is the place to be - inspiring and, well, honest.
Your friends are rooting for you in the grandstands,
and if you look a drop higher, you'll see HKBH cheering loudest of all!

Cant wait to stop by again to wish you mazel tov on one-day-at-a-time till 90 plus!

wow that is incredibly humbling  to hear (or read i suppose...) :-[
welcome 'mom' (its hard for me to type that coz over here we spell it m-u-m!), thanks for the inspiration! i also cant wait!

today i found myself doing a 'dov'. i saw a triggering sight in the distance, surrendered it right away and davened for her that she should be a good mother to her children and a good wife to her husband and she should be the best that she could be. it was a beautiful, liberated feeling.
then a little later, instead of staring at my neighbours house as i walked home, i looked up at the pinky, fluffy clouds and marvelled at the wonders of Hashem's creation...pure beauty...

Such a day.  He made it just for you.