I have found myself losing control of life.  Probably because I'm trying so hard to control it...
I came here for sex addiction, though I'm not 100% sure that's what my problem is.  As I posted previously, I do struggle very much with faith that pogem habris is wrong and controlling it.  I also struggle with compulsive sexual desire and thoughts, and seem to have intertwined sex and love so tight it's hard to feel either.
Part of my issue also seems to be a crisis of identity, and an attempt to fill that will Judaism.  It's not that I dont believe in what I'm doing, I just seem so caught up in Judaism as a noun and label that I'm lax in action and acts of love etc etc.  I suffer crisis' of faith fairly often, and often wonder how I got to where I am.  Concequently, these are often set off by periods of fighting sexual temptation, as well as excessive involvement with secular activities.
I'm aware I need something, I'm just not 100% sure what that is.  This site seems potentially helpful, I'm just not sure I fit into the parameters of it.
Based on this, and I'm sure theres more but this is my short and sweet bit, what should I do?  I've thought about a 12 step for a while, but I'm not sure what my addiction is. (in past I've been through obsessions, identity fixation like this, codependent relationships, some drug abuse, compulsive internet use, other escapism.  "sober" from most but still feel trapped).  any insight is greatly appreciated!
Thanks!

strugglingandstrivngBT wrote on 09 Apr 2010 00:55:


Well, I'm not sure I fit into the parameters of it, either. I can use a computer without surfing 'there.' I can pass people on the street without (necessarily) undressing them mentally. I can... I could go on and on.

The bottom line, though, is that if the issue is any kind of lust-related issue, and the subject is any kind of Torah-related Jew, somehow we're all gonna have to squeeze some room for everybody because THERE AIN'T NO OTHER PLACE TO GO BESIDES HERE.

The site professes to be here for folks with all kinds of sex/lust-related issues. So unless your fantasies are limited to ice cream sundaes, and unless you worship in a Unitarian assembly, I'd say:

stick around, surf the site, post post post, and find something that resonates.

Buddy,

my focus is not to be clean because of religious reasons. Rather my focus is to to stay clean so I can live life. If I spend my life looking at porn I will not live. I will not enjoy life. I will not make money or have friends. The list goes on.

By the way I am VERY religious.