I think in this avoda there are three parts . Physical changes ,emotional/hashkafa changes to cause the above changes and changes to fix all the deep rottenness inside that cause the need for and or attachment to lust .

In the area of physical changes I am so far clean. The clean besides the big two includes shmiras haanayim.

This has been accomplished by learning/trying to learn how to let go of lust. This is something so amazing  and powerful. I would love to find a makar in chazal.

The second reason is the power of the knowledge that other people have been in the same matzav and beat it

The third is the feeling of accountability and achrayos that my friends on the group are causing.

All the aforementioned are definitely half measures and will not last. One cannot undo years of  bad programming and the rottenness inside of me so easily . I understand that for this reason many have openly told me that I must go to groups.
However others that have not mentioned groups or twelve step programs I am not sure what I should be doing now. I have searched through many pages of threads to understand certain things but what else should I be doing now?

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to post/Pm

frumfiend wrote on 08 Apr 2010 19:45:


I hate to sound like a broken record (or DVD today  :D) but the GYE handbook lists 13 practical tools BEFORE it even gets to the idea of the 12-Step groups. So have you tried them all?  

I have read the gye handbook about three times first thing I did before even posting on forum
the attitude book only a little .
Finished the excerpt for windowsf the world very powerful
thanks

frumfiend wrote on 11 Apr 2010 05:16:


Nice to hear about your ongoing efforts. When your current pain turns into your future victories, you're gonna be SOOOOO happy.

In the meantime, let me try to anticipate what other folks might be posting and beat them to the punch so you'll only have one commenter to take on.

You see, Guard asked if you've TRIED the tools, and you responded that you've READ them. See the difference?

I have a difficult time actually implementing these tools so literally, but I do think there must be some value in practicing them "religiously" as opposed to just reading them like a "Good Book" (lehavdil).  You know, I once read the Mishna Bruria once-- it was a pretty dry read (huhh?).

Happy to read your postings.

Briut that is a very yeshivish taana .
Good for you

frumfiend wrote on 11 Apr 2010 15:34:


Well, thanks for the compliment (although maybe my ego's the most dangerous organ to get stroked...). 

But I wasn't looking for one reason I was right -- I was looking for 12 reasons why I'm wrong! Jab away!