I'm not doubting that I'm addicted, I'm doubting what I am addicted to.  While I wholeheartedly acknowledge that sex addiction is real, I'm not convinced it IS my problem, but rather it may be a symptom of my problem.  or maybe I'm wrong.  I'm honestly not sure at this point.  maybe my yetzer hara is flaring up because I'm about to confront it...IYH.
maybe I'm in denial.

When you are staring at that source of pleasure and you love it, and in the back of your mind you feel bad about it, that's how you know that you are addicted. But it's really irrelevant what you call it. The only thing that really exists is where you want to go and how you are going to get there. Who do you want to be?

I want to be a servant to Hashem, humble, sincere and Holy.  free from negativity and sin, shining my light on to the world.  I want to be me...
how to get there...

strugglingandstrivngBT wrote on 12 Apr 2010 00:25:


www.mostlymusic.com/volume2-p-833.html

Journeys, Volume 2.
Eli Gerstner etc.
The single is a download for $1.50; the full album is more. (Preview is free.)

strugglingandstrivngBT wrote on 12 Apr 2010 00:55:


Imagine you have just had an emission and are feeling spent.

After that, can you tell when you have the first thought or look at the first thing?

Another question: how many years?

SASBT,

As someone who is both BT AND sex-addicted AND suffered a lot from mental problems, I think lust addiction, and addictions in general are not directly caused from the mental illness, but it's probably true that they are correlated.

What I mean is, if you did a survey of people who have problems with addictions, you would probably find much higher rates of psychological illness and/or traumatic events. It's not surprising. People find things that help them escape their reality and that they think will help them cope. Then the original situation passes and you're still stuck with the addiction and over time, it takes on a life of its own.

You sound like someone who, first and foremost, needs to address the underlying psychological problem with medication, therapy, or whatever else works. That is a yesod for everything. You can't address your life problems with your hands behind your back. After you feel "normal" again (not happy all the time, just normal), you will be in a position to start addressing the addictions, and any other aspect of your life that needs work. But until that happens, if you're like me, you will be overwhelmed with negative thoughts that you don't even realize are not the real you.

Holy mackerel, did that make a lot of sense! Too much sense for this time of night!