I slipped...and fell into my sarcastic way of thinking...
trying to climb out - maybe you can help.

the thought keeps running through my mind:
Why is it that only through p**n, our gf's ,mistresses, etc we can get the sex and attention that we are looking for?

I tried to ignore the question - I realize it is a trap of my Y"H.

but ignoring it is not working - so I am trying to answer the question...in a way I hope deflates the ol' chap.

here is what I came up with:

Because that kind of sex and attention is not the real stuff. Its not what Hashem wants from us.

There is a reason that Hashem is called MAKOM, as is the place on a woman where relations occurs. also called HaMakom

Because only through proper kavanna of this place, can one become connected to Hashem.

Everything else is just an attempt to dethrone the true King!

I decided if the ol' chap wants to sufficate me with depression and anxiety, 'I am going to drown him out with kedusha!

any other thoughts. - with or without a source are accepted and appreciated.

thanks
you guys are the best.
(maybe the ol'chap will bug off and leave me alone now that he knows I have some alleys on my side)

DovInIsrael  :D :D :D

Short answer: Mayim genuvim yimtaku - Stolen waters are sweet!



Longer answer: _________________. Don't know....
So I will ask a question instead. Is it the actual deeds that give you the enjoyment that you prefer, or is it the anticipation to the deed? I found in my personal experiences that I never actually reached the point of enjoyment through those stuff. The Yetzer Horah tends to build up in my imagination whole towers of what I will find when I reach it..., but I never do. I can spend hours searching for something better, something more enticing, something that will have the right 'ping' to it.

Have you ever looked back at those sessions without regret? Ever regretted a session of serving Hashem the way we are supposed too? Hindsight is with 20/20 vision. If you want to use a reliable gauge to measure with, imagine looking back from tomorrow's vantage viewpoint. Will I still think this was a good idea?



(I heard this point from Rabbi Matisyahu Salamon Shlit"a, of Lakewood. He used this to explain the apparent contradiction between the two verses in Mishlei, V'shibachti ani es hasimcha and v'lasimcha mah zu osseh. he said that the former is in the past tense whereas the latter verse is only an enjoyment in the present tense.)

I think that the basic issue is often that when our pleasure is within a relationship, it can be so much richer and more rewarding - but it also requires more work, and giving. In a fake relationship (either with ourselves, or with someone else), we can focus purely on getting what we want.

Dear Israeli Dov,

I remember Guard saying in one of his chizuk e-mails that the pleasure we feel from porn, illicit sexual activities etc is exactly the same pleasure we have from a true connection with God.

The trouble is that being addicts, we've become so accustomed to treating the counterfeit as the real McCoy, that we can't tell the difference between glitter and gold anymore.

However, don't they say that you can always, "tell a tree by the fruit it bears." The satisfaction, excitement, release and pleasure that we obtain from sinning feels great when we're taking a massive overdraft on life, but too many of us on this forum have discovered that the loan shark that is the YH exacts interest and payment mercilessly.

In the end, buying goods from the old Satan can't be a good business deal. 

I hope I've been helpful.

TC and KUTGW!

DL

:D :D :D :D

THANKS!!!

to everyone who replied!

I realize my EGO escaped - and was just looking for some nurishment!
Seems like when I offered him a plate of the healthy, kedusha stuff - like you suggested he ran away.

thanks! !!

What a beautiful thread of wisdom. Thx, everyone, for the chizuk! Your thoughts are very deep....

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 16 Mar 2010 18:49:




i could not agree more! i feel the same way i spend most of my time looking for what i think will give me that extra "ping" to it there have been times where i have found it but only a few like very few as in 5 or so but what is that compared to the countless hours spent looking and looking and looking? and as soon as you are done (you know what i mean) you feel horrible! :'( i am glad GUE is here it helps you turn that frown upside down! :'( :-\ :D ;D