Hello London, regards from Stamford Hill, im 20 years old, and have a computer with internet access in my room, i used to be a crazy addict, seriusly now, i was, like, the king of porn, but things in my life have recently come crashing down, and its made me turn to god as opposed to pressing the self destruct button, i have tried everything in the past to stop watching porn, i mean everything (except throwing my pc out the window) i have put up blockers, i have got friend sto typ passwords in and not tell me etc sof kol sof, jack crap, if you wanna watch it then there is nothing that could stop you, i feel its more important to SOLVE THE BLOODY ISSUE then just block it away, as i said above, im very spirtualy connected at the moment, and i want hashe to help me so badly, this is what i did, i have a double problem, PORN and along with it MAST... i thought about it, other one or the other IM STOPPING! then i realised that if i watch the porn and not..... NAH IMPOSSIBLE (FOR ME) so i chose to stop watching porn, now how do i deal with my shizzle, well, im bored in my room, i started dreaming........ im turned on! natrually, im gonna wanna watcha porna  but instaed of going straight onto xxx i light a cigerette, or a spliff, and sit there learning masilas yishorim (gates of repentence) and i lose the will to ******* best of luck to everyone, and just remember!!!! every time we hold ourselves back for even a few minutes we are on the same level as yosef hazadik when he ran away from potifas wife!!!! and then ask god for anyhting you want!!!

Dear "Nearly",

I removed the word "porn" from your name. I hope you don't mind. Now we will try to remove it from your heart.

BTW. What's the idea of your x-girlfriend's number. Is that a joke? I didn't get it. Maybe you have to be English to get it? ;D I removed that too. Sorry. She'll have to find others to talk to, not the guys here...

Anyway, welcome to our community. I am the admin of this forum. You have come to the right place. The common denominator of all the behaviors you describe is an addiction to "Lust". There are are two prerequisites to beginning to heal from this addiction. One is admitting you have a problem, and two is wanting to get help. You have already done both of those. Now comes step three, actually getting the help!

The first step to getting "long term" Chizuk, is to sign up to the daily Chizuk e-mails over here.

If you've read a little bit through this forum, I’m sure you'll quickly realize that you are not alone and that we get cries for help like yours many times a day, both by e-mail and on the forum.

You've been going through this cycle of addiction for a number of years already... I'm sure you've tried to get up many times, only to fall again. It doesn't matter that you may have managed to stay clean for longer periods here and there, it's the overall pattern that shows this is an addiction.

We could offer you lots of great Chizuk and advice right now, but it would last only a few days and then wear off. Instead, we want to help you in a way that will be much more effective and systematic.

We put a lot of effort into writing up handbooks that contain all the tools to breaking free of this addiction, in progressive order. These are tools that we in the GYE community have gathered together - through hundreds of people's experiences over the years. These tools can help anyone, no matter what stage of addiction they might be at. Whether someone is just struggling a little, or whether they have tried countless times to break free with all types of advice and tricks, these handbook will be able to guide them on the right path. (See below for links to the handbooks).

By reading the handbooks and exploring what tools you've tried and which you haven't - we can work together and discuss a battle plan for you (along with the others on the forum) step by step, tool by tool. This will give us a clear "Framework" to work in, and will help you make progress, slowly but surely for the long term - and not just some "great" advice that will quickly fade away...

We are here for you, and we will do our very best to offer chizuk and advice and help you along for as long as it takes, but let's do it within a systematic framework so that the progress can be outlined and mapped, and you will finally be able to break free of this endless cycle of addiction...

Please right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

Obviously though, just reading the handbooks alone won't be enough. They don't have "magical" words in them . They simply lay down the tools before you, so that you can use those tools with careful thought, patience and determination. Very quickly you will come to see and believe that it CAN BE DONE!

Rabbi Twerski always says that this illness is like a spiritual cancer. And what will a person not do to get better from cancer? Nothing should stand in his way! To recover from this illness, we have to be ready to put in at least as much time as we spent acting out...

Read the PDF files linked above, as well as the tips on our website and FAQ pages, and read through the threads on this forum and through the archives of past Chizuk e-mails sent out.

The underlying secret to the success of so many people on our website, is that we learn to stop fighting the lust head-on. It is too strong for us to overpower alone. Instead, we learn how to give over the fight to Hashem, and how to side-step the lust, using carefully thought out techniques, boundaries and fences. To this end, a good internet filter is a very important first step. Please see this page for many great filter options. And I can hold the password for you. See this page for how to do it!

May Hashem be with you!