So I finally cut off internet access from my phone. I am extremely relieved that I no longer have to worry about looking at p**n and I can now focus on really living my life in a pure way.
On the other hand, I am very afraid of the withdrawal process. I've gone through it before, and I'm scared to go through it again.
I'm also kind of worn out by my battle with p**n and it's going to be hard for me to muster the energy to keep fighting the Yetzer Hara. Because after all, cutting off access is only half the battle; for me to achieve real purity, I'm going to have to work hard at shmiras habris and shmiras einayim. I want to try to climb the 90 day chart to whatever extent I can.
Any chizuk will help!
TOF

Dear TOF,

In this struggle, one of the key things to remember is to take things one day at a time. Often as addicts, the thought of going cold turkey 'forever' is agonising and almost feels like death.

That's why in order to make the battle mentally palatable, and perhaps physically attainable, we bring the beast down in a war of attrition.

Like you said, real freedom will only come when one has truly learnt to let go of lust. We are all here for you so don't be scared mate. You've done it before, so you know you can do it again. Persevere and don't give up, and the fight will become gradually lighter and easier. "The Gods help those who help themselves", so let God help you.

Congratulations on having the will and strength to cut out the phone internet access that was causing you problems.

KUTGW and keep us posted.

TC,

DL     

If I could add one little PS to SL's post:
I personally find it very helpful to focus on what I want to ADD into my life to replace the hole I'm trying to create. If I ADD the good stuff first, there's less and less space for the shmutz to live. Plus, by adding GOOD, there's less compatibility between the shmutz and the rest of me. Shmutz might want to pack up and move to a more hospitable location!

I'm not saying that it's always easy to push out the bad, I'm just saying that for me (I can't speak for you or anyone else!) it's nice to focus on "breathe in good" rather than "push out bad." Breathing=easy, pushing=work.

So, what would YOU rather be busy with than trying to take all day NOT thinking about 'x'....

That's my thought for the day. No charge.

Dear Tiredoffalling,

Congratulations on making such a drastic change--cutting off your phone internet access.

One thing that helped me alot with the withdrawal symptoms is a little slogan here, "Don't live in the problem, live in the solution."

I grappled with the idea for a while, trying it on in all different ways, until I finally had a breakthrough.

For me, it means not to live life with a focus "I'm not going to act out!"  Because this could drive someone crazy.

Rather, focus on the positive and productive things you can do throughout your day.  Automatically, there will be no room left for worrying about "I'm not going to act out!"

Good luck,

  --Eye.

Thanks for the tips! That makes a lot of sense... Now I just have to figure out what productive activities I can find to fill my day.
I also have a question about the whole concept that helping others is really important in the recovery process. Why is that exactly? I mean, I understand that helping people in general is important, but usually when I'm thinking about how to recover from this addiction, I'm thinking along the lines of "how do I get  better". Is doing chesed in some way a special tikun for this pgam?

TiredOfFalling wrote on 11 Mar 2010 21:21:


In my experience of the last few weeks, I found that my reading other's posts and thinking of what encouragement/advice I can offer, kept my mind thinking in the direction we want it to. When I wanted to take a break from work, instead of surfing... I read the newest threads and posts. That kept me busy in a positive environment.

I may not be as good as I would like to be, as I hope to be someday, but I do have something to offer to others who are struggling. By offering companionship I am doing a very big chesed. :D (...and the greatest benefit is to myself! ;D)

Try it. It may work for you too.

A big part of the problem, a root of the problem, is selfishness.

Even if we're concerned about OUR recovery, we're still focused on ourselves.  Selfish.  Or at least self-centered.

Thinking about others, though it may seem indirect, is actually healing the problem directly at the root.  We develop our selfLESSness.

  --Eye.

Thanks eye. That makes a lot of sense.

You're welcome.

& Shavua Tov,

  --Eye.