I’m asking for your thoughts on how big swings in lusting might relate to big swings in MOODS.

I’m about to make a confession that’s far more painful than discussing sexual issues. I was diagnosed a few years back with a “mood disorder” that takes both medication and a good amount of self-control to keep in check. For years, various docs would label my feelings as depression or anxiety, but a new perspective as a (minor?) mood disorder (something like a baby brother to manic-depression / bipolar disorder) has brought a new therapeutic approach and a lot of mental relief.

One huge question on my mind, though, is whether some of my sexual acting out is the RESULT of undiagnosed mood issues over the years, or whether my sexual acting out was a partial CAUSE of some of my mood swing grief.

In other words, THE CHICKEN AND EGG PROBLEM: which came first, the sexual compulsions or the mood/manic compulsions? And how does that affect how to address, manage, and reduce the sexual compulsions.

I KNOW I’m not alone in facing mood issues on top of sex issues. If you’re out there, could you please come out of the closet and share some of your thoughts? And if you’re NOT in that situation, could you offer your perspectives as an outsider?

How do mood disorders and sexual compulsions interact?

Hi Briut,

We seem to be meeting up all over the place, well your a good guy to bump into :D

Having mood swings is fairly common... I for one wouldn't be ashamed of it, especially since you never asked for it... and was possibly (don't know) brought on by life events or an upbringing that was out of your control...

I Happened not to be a mood swinger, I am pretty consistent whether down or up...
So I can't comment on mood swings specificly, but on psychological issues in general...

I believe that if you where a real hardcore addict and fully dysfunctional because of it, then it is possible that it all started from the addiction...

If the addiction didn't fully take over your life, then I'd say that the Mood-swing-thing in fact caused the addiction

One thing is certain though, regardless of which one originally started it, once it was started they definitely feed on each other...
And it is definitely worthwhile to address Both

(I personally happened to be a big fan of focusing on the underlying emotional stuff...)

I'd try to pay attention and try to zoom on to the process as it happens try to identify what I'm feeling as I turn to the addiction or get mood swings...

The more you understand yourself, the more you can help yourself...

Keep us posted...

Gee, I wonder whether any of the others who've made mention of these mood-related issues will have the to speak up.  Or even other psychiatric issues like depression, anxiety, etc. (Who could go through lust issues and NOT face those challenges?!) Question: WHAT DO YOU THINK THE RELATIONSHIP IS btw one and the other?

It could happen!! Let's see who wants to post.

I for one am very open about my emotional stuff... I always wonder whether or not I am too open...?

"Too open" and "this website" don't really fit together -- do what you need to do and post what you need to post. (There are monitors if it gets way out there....)

So, my question to you is, what's the chicken and what's the egg: are our moods swinging because we've got these Issues or have we fallen into issues because we have Moods???

My current understanding of my own brain is that it lacks something basic that enables it to function semi-normally without drugs. I get major ups and downs, and spend most of my time wandering around in a daze, hopelessly stressed out, panicky and confused. In retrospect, it's not really surprising that I dropped out of school twice.

I think I've come to recognize a certain kind of cloudiness that is "the disease". When that isn't there, then I have plenty of other problems to deal with, but at least I'm in a position to tackle them and I'm not down for the count before the match even starts.

This is a really good question.  I'm not sure of the answer but I know what my counselor would tell me, and since I'm in counseling school, I'll tell you.

Why doesn't matter.  Which doesn't matter.  Get some sobriety and your moods will change.  If you have a chemical imbalance like I have for over
25 years, you may still feel depressed if you're not on medication.  If you're on medication for depression or mood disorder you can still act out if
something traumatic happens which triggers a past event, like abandonment or loneliness.  Sobriety takes care of all of this.  It teaches us how
to cope better when these squirrely times occur. 

I would say that mood swings cause the lust.  Your mood swings are caused by _________________?  Cranky, Irritable and Discontent.  Which One?
Resentment, Fear, Anger, Loneliness, Boredom, Abandonment, Abuse, Trauma ___________ Which one(s).

Figure this out, spend your time analyzing this on paper with a sponsor or mentor you can trust.  Take care of resolving these issues and I promise
you, you won't be as moody and you won't have the taiva to act out.

Elya

all I can say is that when I was taking Zolof & Prozac for Depression  ,I engaged in a lot of acting out.

I was diagnosed with clincal depression at age 8 and bipolar at age 11.  I found lust around age 8 as well, as did an incident with a close friend (not sexual, and I dont remember my reaction, though my parents say it was bad).  This has been a huge debate for me, trying to figure out which did what. I know that I had issues that made me "different" from a very early age, but the severity didnt start until around 8.  Fast foward to various parts of my life, and a fairly consistent pattern of "moods worse=lust worse" arises.  Mood disorders can cause hypersexuality, as hypersexuality can cause mood issues (I dont believe it can cause true mood disorder, just the symptoms).
I have recently had the diagnosis of bipolar revoked, due the fact that as soon as I came off of the bipolar meds I started doing better.  I am currently taking an antidepressent but have fairly stable moods B"H.
As for you, I am not a doctor, I couldnt tell you for sure.  I will share my opinion: If the meds are helping (especially depending on which meds they are), you probably have a true mood disorder.  I doubt your lust issues caused this, but they certainly could make things worse.  vice versa as well.  Ultimately it doesnt matter, and you have to treat both as two parts of the whole.  much hatzlacha in your journey!

i read a book on ADD - which stated tha tmany people with ADD also have problems with addictions...

but then again since addictions affect our abilities to concentrate and focus (ie, attention oriented problems) maybe there is a closse connectino between teh two.

Also read that all negative emotions are the result of an energy imbalance in teh body.

DovInIsrael wrote on 12 May 2010 15:03:

may I ask what the nature of the book was and the culture/school of thought behind it?

here is a link with a write up on the ADD book  (BTW - the book was great - very insightful )

www.gettinbetter.com/ADD.html

the other topic was related to EFT (emotional freedom technique - tapping on the  accupressure points)

Yes, for me acting out would give a boost out of a 'down' mood and would calm me down from an 'up' mood. Acting out and even a little shmutz was my Lithium.

Which means that living without the shmutz and acting out requires finding new cognitive skills for dealing with my moods. Which means GYE is my psychotherapy. And you all are my shrinks. (Can you all stroke your beards, Freud-like, and ask "how long have you been feeling this way?" Thanks.)

But conversely, I'm finding that staying away from chait (sin) is helping my moods because I know it's eliminating a barrier between me and Kedusha. It's not an even exchange yet -- I'm definitely more moody and want my balm of lust -- but somehow I'm holding onto hope that the One who gave the 'challenge' will provide the cure. (Just let it be soon, before my kishkas explode....)

hmmmm...verrrry intereztik...(hand on beard)

zooo, if I understannd vat you are zaying... your attraction to the GYE site all stems from your s*xual thoughts, and desires...

very interezting ... let me whrite diz down...

DovInIsrael wrote on 12 May 2010 15:34:


No, No, Dovii. I'm saying my attraction to se*ual thoughts and desires might come from... my desire to tame my mood swings. This all feels good enough to give me a boost when I'm feeling sad/lonely/unworthy, gives me an outlet for my nervous energy when I'm feeling anxious/up/etc.

If we could bottle it, we could be rich. Enough to give Guard all the $ he needs.