Dear All,

I have never posted before, so here goes.

I have faced Nisyonos in this area for years. Before Yom Kippur this year, I installed an Internet filter to which only my wife has the password (and if the password gets lost, only she can have it e-mailed to her account, to which I have no access).

[I have edited out the rest of this message].  

Boruch Hashem, I'm up to 7 days.

Dear Kedusha, Welcome to our community. (I did not receive your info for the Wall of Honor chart. Try sending again to wallohonor@gmail.com)

It seems that at the same time Hashem brought you to fall with that hole in your filter, he also helped you find our site. Zeh Le'umas Zeh.
I'm just curious, how and when did you find out about GYE?
And how did you manage to stay clean for the past 7 days even with the hole in the filter?

I highly suggest upgrading your filter to something more reliable, such as Jnet, koshernet or Rimon, if you are in Israel. See our filter section for more options.

Basically, it seems you've been going through this cycle of addiction for already some years... get up, fall, get up, fall. We could offer you lots of Chizuk, but it would last a few days and then wear off again. Instead, we want to help you in a way that will be much more effective and systematic. By reading the handbooks (see links below) and exploring what tools you've tried and which you haven't - we can work together and discuss it (along with the others on the forum) step by step, tool by tool. This will give us a clear "Framework" to work in, and will help us make progress slowly but surely for the long term - and not just some chizuk that will quickly wear off...

We are here for you and we will do our best to offer chizuk and help you along - for as long as it takes, but let's do it within a systematic framework so that the progress can be outlined and mapped, and you will finally be able to break free of this endless cycle of addiction... Do you agree?

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

Dear Guard: Thank you very much for your kind words.  I have been aware of your site for a number of weeks, but only now have I registered.  I have read and benefitted from a great deal of the wonderful materials that you have to offer, including the newly published e-books.

How did I stay clean for the past 7 days?  On the first few days, by counting the hours, then by counting the days.  But always concentrating on being clean for one day at a time, and receiving Chizuk from your site.  I’ve been feeling better about myself each day, and appreciating my wife, who is far more beautiful than the forbidden images will ever be.

My filter is very good, especially since I’ve closed many of the serious loopholes.  The most serious loophole, which allows unfiltered access, only applies when I have a certain program installed.  Needless to say, I have uninstalled the program (and deleted the installation file).  I have called the problem to the attention of the filter company, and they said they would work on it.  To avoid causing anyone to stumble, R”L, I will refrain from stating which filter I use and which program currently overrides it.  [Update: March 2011 - I recently checked and this loophole has been fixed].

As for my request for volunteers to be extra careful in the merit of my community, I realized that I cannot expect anyone to take on more than one day at a time, which is all an addict is able to commit to.  If anyone commits to 24 hours of purity (or any amount of time) to provide merit to a Kehilah whose Sefer Torah fell yesterday, R”L, I will be deeply grateful.  Let me be the first to announce my commitment, b’li neder, for the next 24 hours, to continue my progress in Shmiras Einayim as a merit for my community.

Bracha v'Hatzlacha to all.

Dear Kedusha -
Your seven days sounds suspiciously like it may have been Chasdei Hashem. Boruch Hashem yom yom - for every day that He carries us, as the posuk reads, for the only real and permanent help is from Him, as the posuk continues. There are many people staying clean and leading an entirely new life, as a result. Thanks for being a vehicle of that help for me.
Dov

You're right, of course, Dov.  Those 7 days (now 8 ) were/are with the help of Hashem.

I'm not sure how the smiley face found its way into my previous message, which should have read:

"You're right, of course, Dov.  Those 7 days - now 8 - were/are with the help of Hashem."

I edited your post to remove the smiley. It showed up because you typed an 8 followed by the ) which makes it into a smiley. 8) See? I added a space between the 8 and the ), making the smiley go away.

Thanks.  How were you able to edit my message - do you have administrator privileges?

Ano has special privileges on this forum, but Kedusha - you can edit your own posts by simply pressing "Modify".

That's good to know - thank you R. Guard!

Kedusha
I relate so much to what happened to you on the first post you wrote. I've had exactly the same kinds of situations with the computer and my wife. I have to say though I never had anything close to the length of prisha you had .i don't even know hat htat means....

Thank you for the feedback, Lamed.

Just remember that success builds upon success, so start succeeding, one day at a time.

My thread continues here:

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=500.0

Kedusha wrote on 27 May 2009 14:09:



Look how far Kedusha has come!!


From wondering about Moderator's Edits to.........


_Me3?>

This is truly inspiring!! Thanks for digging up this thread.