I am a chassidshe family man close to my fifties. I'm not so much into looking for bad sites. I have filtered internet.But i have access to another office computer from outside  which i can access through programs. That computer is not filtered. I'm addicted to chat but i mean in the wrong way. I love to talk to women and girls. Of course the wrong and terrible things. I hate to say it but it makes me crazy and is a loss to my buissness.i have tried so many things. I have shiurim. I daven erlich but once i'm in office nothing stops me from this addiction. I have others who know me on Yahoo chats already so even i'm not in a chatroom they contact me . Its so terrible. If anybody can help please do. i will be watching here for help.

Wow! this reminds me of myself going back a few years

I am off that addiction completely after years of struggling with it.

I don't have any answers as to how to get over it, but I'm sure you will have many people in here that will help you with it.


For me I stoped when I realized like you do now that,

A. I lost lots of money by not getting work done.

B. It got me to take it 1 step lower then just chatting on line. (No Negiya or Sex) & didn't want to ruin my great life I had going with my lovely wife & children B'H.

Staying in the chat rooms will eventually get you to the lowest of the low if you dont stop while your ahead. It dose not end in the chat room. I had a friend of mine that ended up in a dirty divorce by the time he was done. I beged him to stop but I guess he didn't have the power or maybe he didn't have GYE at that time.

C. I got fed up when I realized that the chat rooms are full of Losers & B"H I didn't see myself as a looser so I quit cold turkey.

Its my understanding that "Guard" will be trying  to set up a chat room on this site hopefully soon & I think it will be helpful for people with chat addiction to chat over here in a good way to help them get over it in a bad way.

for now try to read up on the hand books GYE just put out, it should help you even if your not a Porn addict.

Ashrecho Yisroel

there's a fellow who hasn't posted in a while who goes by the name of mevakesh hashem.look him up in the members list and write to him.he will even talk to you on the phone.he's the one who can help you. do it quick - you dont want to fall further - there are a lot worse things that can happen besides your business suffering.addicitions can lead down a steep slippery path.you have come to the right place for help.i wish you the best and i love you for taking the first step - admitting there's a problem and wanting to do something about it!!  jack

Yes, the first step is admitting the problem. The second is wanting to be helped. The third is doing something about it. You have come to the right place. I have asked "Mevakesh" to post to you, like Jack suggested above.

As far as all the warnings you are getting from everyone, they are 100% right. Please read this page AND this page of our FAQ...

Thank you to all of you. B'h i'm having today already a better day. It has happened before but hopefully i'll be successful bezras hashem with your help here.

Terrible weekend i had .Sunday is a very bad day for me. Just lost it completely. I feel very bad about it.

Hey Loynata Hoilech,

I dont want you to feel like youre alone on this. I have the same issue. Maybe not as bad as you do but I also go to chatrooms. You said that sometimes poeple message you from your Yahoo account without you even being ina chat so maybe you should cancel that account and start a new one with no chats so nobody from the chatrooms has your screen name. Also you can use a filter that doesnt allow chatting or instant messaging. Of course you would need to give someone else the password.

Hatzlochah Rabbah
-INH

Dear "Le'an Ata Holech",

Your honesty is one of the traits that will help you pull through this, but if you really want to get help - let's do this right. Please see this post.

I can't not just stop using Yahoo. I need it for Buissnes so it won't be easy to change all that but i can ignore all these people when i'm in the right moods al pi derech hashem.

What about when you're not in the right moods? You have to understand, this is an addiction, an illness. You aren't a bad person who wants to be good, you are an ill person who needs to get better. And to get better from an illness, you need to take the right medicine. All the chizuk in the world won't help for the long term without the RIGHT TECHNIQUES. So please read the GYE handbooks and learn the tools that WORK.

We are here for you to discuss it further, for as long as it takes.

Please forgive my ignorance, but why davka Yahoo?
If you need the net for work, why dont you use any other page (that has no access to chat) to gain internet access? Is internet chatting or using a site that has chatting part of your work requirements?
Perhaps you can start puting a fence by not going to any website that has chatting.


Another possibility would be to commit yourself (and ask Guard if a neder would be appropriate) to the following:
Prepare in writting, beforehand, a short statement stating something like,
"My friend, please be aware that while I am here in front of my computer writing to you, I am doing so against my will. I have been kidnaped. But please, do not call the police. I have not been kidnaped by a human being, but a dark and sinister impulse that resides within me.  You see, we all have been bestowed with the precious gift of life. I myself come from a nation of prophets and sages who have taught the world how to lead a worthy and meaningful life.  Regretably, for years on, I have squandered my life pursuing imaginary vanities and fleeting pleasures. I realize that while I sit here typing some nonesense, my life is sliping away. I have decided, however, now and forever, to make mends with my true self and with my Creator. I no longer desire to have any converstation, not a word, with you or anybody in a chat room and I request that you click me off your screen. I do not hold anything against you and I please ask that you forgive me if my chatting has led you to sin in the past. Thank you."



Loynata, if you feel that you have to chat, u can first post this. Yes, make it the first post. if you still have the urge, then you may .

Behatzlacha

ps u probably are aware that many "young girls" in  chat rooms are perhaps men of your age

hatzlacha

i have associates in buisness in the goyish world that i chat with on yahoo. I can't get on groups in yahoo b'h cause i have jnet. I'm talking about other rooms which i got addicted . Of course i can write to a chatter that what you put down so nice yakovyosef if i'm healed sure .Its like Guardureyes wrote so beautifully "You aren't a bad person who wants to be good, you are an ill person who needs to get better. And to get better from an illness, you need to take the right medicine." I hope its that easy .I'm trying very hard.Im sure if i continue here HKB"H will helpme cause Haboah Letahar Mesayin Loi Min Hashomayim

LOYNATA HOILECH wrote on 25 May 2009 21:58:


Loynata,

Thanks. My suggestion is to put down what I wrote davka when you are NOT healed.

YosefYakov, thanks for that POWERFUL Aitza. I will save it by be for future reference to help others




Loynata, does "I'm trying very hard" include reading the Handbooks? If not, you aren't trying hard enough  :D

Yes im reading all the handbooks and it is tremondous help. I still had a small setback at the end of the day.