Hi All,
I write these words with a deep sense of satisfaction and achievement. Satisfaction that I'm still able to have the courage to talk to you all and - achievement that I'm still clean and pure from sin.
However, it is now well and truly Winter Zman and the Yomim Noraim are sadly behind us. The power of the last few days and weeks, the Kedushoh of the recent Yomim Toivim are quickly slipping into the recesses of our memories.
I can tell you that Simchas Torah this year was like Yom Kippur. It was a Simchas Torah like never before. I held that beautiful Sefer Torah so tight and danced with my eyes closed and went round and round the Bimah in my own thoughts. Yes, we dance with the sefer torah in recognition of finishing the whole Sefer torah and we are besimcha because 'asher bochar banu mikol ha'amim’. But, my thoughts during the hakafos were somewhat different....
I was thinking, 'Please dear most compassionate Hashem, help me throughout the cold and unforgiving winter. Help me have the strength to continue my recent Aliyah. Help me have the chutzpah to tell people posing as the Y'H to disappear. Help me serve You with a clean heart. Help me be a frum yid and act like one ALWAYS. Help me benefit from your beautiful umbrella called yiddishkeit and be sheltered from the dark and uncertain world out there'.
I cried and sang and clutched that Sefer Torah so tightly - I didn't want to give it back to the gabbai! People asked if I was ok. I said 'yeah! I’m just tired, been up with the kids etc'.....!
Today is the first real day that we're pretty much out on our own now. The assisting aids of the recent yomim toivim have now gone. It’s like we're swimming in the deep end for the first time without arm bands, like riding a bicycle for the first time without stabilizers....
Today is the real test. Today signals the start of the real deal. For the last few weeks we've held ourselves back from sin because we haven’t been going to the office. We haven’t been at work. We've relied on the Yomim Toivim/Yomim Nora'im to get us through the days without sinning because the Y'H says to us 'get these few tricky days behind you then it'll be a normal day and you can enjoy yourself without the "feel bad factor" bothering you'.
If we ever needed the strength and stamina for a fight - Now is the time. It's each man for themselves.....
I daven and hope that the recent powerful days assist me in my fight to get through the winter sin-free and that the tefillos that have been said with such kavonoh are listened to by Hashem and that He helps me prevail the greatest battles of all.
Finally, I hope all you dear contributers have the strength the continue the fight/struggle throughout these next few days and months and in the zechus of helping each other we should all be zocheh to have a 'gut vinter', a year full with the most beautiful simchos in all our families, a year full of nachas from our most precious beautiful children, a year full of hatzlacha in being able to provide for our families during these financially testing times and a year that we can capitalize on the opportunities to draw closer to Hashem and ready ourselves for the greatest day of all - the coming of Moshiach Tzidkeinu Bimheirah Beyomeinu - Amen
With much love - and I stand to salute all of you for being the best and most courageous people on this planet.
Menachem
