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TOPIC: hotel room emergency 5111 Views

Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 16:05 #56523

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Hi Friend...

I was thinking over our conversation...
Here's what I realized:

A girl needs a religious school to stay Frum...
But, a girl needs a happy home to stay sane...

(Personal experience, unfortunately...)

Also you were saying how short sighted her approach to child rearing is....
From a non Torah perspective her approach is actually the norm...
Even in the Torah world there are those who believe in a more easy going approach to chinuch...

She may be wrong (That is definitely up for debate...)
But I don't think she's being stupid, she's simply coming from a different perspective...

Once again I am just sharing my thoughts because I think they may help...
I hope things turn around for you...
Keep us posted.. We are rooting for you....

Peace and Love My Holy Bro...
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Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 16:10 #56525

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silentbattle wrote on 05 Mar 2010 16:00:

But then I realized that if I could see her actions as cute foibles, then instead of wanting to yell, I'd want to kiss her - and it worked (though I didn't kiss her, since that would probably end the date right there!)


And can for some people be a trigger... ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 16:17 #56527

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You think that mentioning that might be a trigger for some people?
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Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 16:29 #56531

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No No, Kissing might be a trigger for you... :D
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Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 16:38 #56534

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Ah  :D

Yes, I suppose it might be... :D
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Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 17:43 #56553

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Me3 wrote on 05 Mar 2010 15:31:

But.. You can choose to avoid fights as much as possible. You can say in a quiet voice, I don't want to fight with you, but I can't agree to what you are saying / doing, etc..

You do not need to yell, lose your temper,  fight, etc. All these things are soley in your court. Your choice. Your wife does not control your temper, your responses. Only you do.


over the years, my fighting and yelling achieved nothing.   FACT

So logically I shouldn;t do it, right?  I guess I enjoy fighting yelling etc. because I feel that I am making a point.  A pointless point, but a point nontheless.  

Huh.  Now I write this down and read it back to myself, I am an idiot.
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Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 17:51 #56554

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5770 wrote on 05 Mar 2010 17:43:

Me3 wrote on 05 Mar 2010 15:31:

But.. You can choose to avoid fights as much as possible. You can say in a quiet voice, I don't want to fight with you, but I can't agree to what you are saying / doing, etc..

You do not need to yell, lose your temper,  fight, etc. All these things are soley in your court. Your choice. Your wife does not control your temper, your responses. Only you do.


over the years, my fighting and yelling achieved nothing.  FACT

So logically I shouldn;t do it, right?  I guess I enjoy fighting yelling etc. because I feel that I am making a point.  A pointless point, but a point nontheless. 

Huh.  Now I write this down and read it back to myself, I am an idiot.



My friend,

Keep it up... Your shteiging....

Not only that, but in Shamayim they smile at little (yet very big..) steps like these...

Remember Yehuda's Big accomplishment...?
He said: Tzodka Mimenie...

Also their are so many meaningful fulfilling alternatives to make a mark, be heard, etc.

It is so worth it to search out these things...
Believe me the alternatives are much more satisfying...

P.s. we are all 'idiots' in some way... or we wouldn't be here...
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Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 18:12 #56562

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Exactly - 5770, we're all idiots, but you're here because you don't want to act that way anymore. So let's make a change!

Decide right now - what are you going to do differently today? Over shabbos? Make a decision to make a change, and follow through! not because there'll be immediate results, but because right now, that's the only sane thing you can do!
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Re: hotel room emergency 05 Mar 2010 18:37 #56571

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Ye,

I think I heard guys claim that sanity is 'something else'...

I think I'll go for one myself....
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