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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Fell 1188 Views

Fell 14 Apr 2009 16:11 #4436

So I'm Nineteen. I was raised in a non-religious home with parents who didn't monitor my web surfing so I grew a porn addiction in my early teens. About six months ago I said enough was enough and stopped masturbating all-together. Baruch Hashem to this day I haven't touched myself. Porn is another problem though. After I quit masturbating I would still find myself watching porn, wasting time. I finally kicked the habit when I found A good porn filter program and made up an email/password that I didn't know. This was about 3 months ago and I thought I was completely done with porn. Well a couple days ago I had an urge to watch pornography. I've had these urges from time to time but my filter was so rock solid that I always found it impossible to get past it and just gave up after a few minutes. However, this time I found a way around the filter. Since then I'm watching porn almost every couple hours. I can't bring myself to enjoy, but for some reason I just can't stop visiting those sites.

What scares me is that now that I've learned how to work around the filter there's no way to block me from going to these places. I've been in constant fear every day after watching porn that I'll go to sleep and have a wet-dream as a result.
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 17:28 by .

Re: Fell 14 Apr 2009 20:08 #4438

  • Elya K
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 242
but for some reason I just can't stop visiting those sites.

Some reason is you're addicted and cannot control this.  That's why you keep going
back to it. You can switch blocks and give someone your password but the porn is
not the problem, it's the sympton of the problem. And until you give up and admit
you have a problem and work on your anger, resentment, fears, lonliness, etc. you'll just keep on.
The scary thing is that this is a progressive disease.  Soon porn won't be exciting enough if you're
watching it every 2 hours.  And those things you are now swearing you'll never do, soon become a
reality to many of us.

There is an expression in SA.  The bottom line in SA is no masturbation and no sex outside marriage.
Does that mean as long as you don't masturbate you can sit and watch porn all day?  NOOOOOO!

This is a disease caused by LUST and the more you fill your life and mind with lustful thoughts
you can't stop.   So all the blocks in the world won't help if you really want to keep looking? 
I went to a Kinkos once because my home computer was blocked.  In a public place!!!

Anyway, get into an SA or SLAA program.  Join the weekly calls. Read whatever you can on
the Guard site.  Get a sponsor immediately or someone from this forum to talk to and speak
it out with someone. 

Youve taken the first step by writing on the forum.  Now take the next, etc.

Presently one of the GYE hotline moderators for couples struggling with Shmiras Eiynaim issues in their marriage.  Elya is the author of 2 books, Help Her Heal with Carol Sheets for partners of SA and his latest book, Hey!What About Me: How to become a priority in a world of distraction, impulsivity and indifference.
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 17:28 by .
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