BH,

Hi ,

I would like to ask if anyone has advise as to how to avoid having a Keri ( nocturnal seminal emission ).
But first I would like to say , that I have read up a lot of chassdus , kabbalah , shulchan aruch  etc , and I often do not have untzniut thoughts, I am married , and yet I still cannot breaking this VERY painful , and soul destroying cycle ove having Keri's at night, often without a dream that I remember , or sometimes there is a vivid dream .
I will wake immediately after , and I feel I have died a thousand deaths , that my soul has left , and I feely very lowly , and have no power to change this devastating cycle .
It occurs perhaps once every month , or sometimes two months , sometimes fortnightly , . In general it is probably 1 monthly .

There is more to my life story , but just putting out a short cry for advise.

Dear TBF,

Welcome to the forum!

You're not responsible for what happens while you're sleeping.  Keri at night is only a problem if you brought it on by deliberately engaging in improper thoughts and/or Histaklus while you were awake.  Even then, the Aveira is not what happened at night (which, Sof Kol Sof, was beyond your control) but, rather, what you did during the day.  The Keri itself is not the Aveira, nor could it be, based on the concept of "Ones Rachmana Patrei."

yeh, what he said. Don't let your YH get you down about it.

Do you turn onto your back while sleeping. I found this to be a BIG problem by me. So I would put something behind my back to keep me from rolling in my sleep. Try a heavy blanket rolled up

Hi. Please see this link.

TBF!!

TO

BE

FREEYYLACH!!

I want to tell you

To look your YH in the rotten face

And scream in his miserable discontorted face

And say HA HA !!

I will "KEEP ON TRUCKING" NO MATTER WHAT!!


Bards

The keri and even the actual Aveiras in this Inyan are small potatoes for the Y"H....The depression that comes afterwards that's what the Menuval Sehbikirbicha (Y"H) really wants...Don't let him....Act B'simcha and then you will actually be B'simcha and you will give the Y"H a big kick in the pants.

What a find! I love what's been written here.

I think it was the Kotzker Rebbe, Zacher Tzadik Livracha, who asked what does it mean that our generation, the generation before Mashiach is full of Chuzpah? The Rebba answers that today we all need a good dose of chuzpah -The Rebba explains that if C"V we get pulled into an avaira, we need to get right back up with the greatest "chuzpah" possible and say: " I am a Holy Yid, a Tzadik, and I'm going to serve Hashem right now (especially right after this "avaira") because I have greatness in me! What other choice is there after a nocturnal emission. I've tried being depressed but that didn't really work for me.

Before going to sleep I try not to be busy with it in my mind because to struggle against the fear of falling, is the same thing as falling (as others wiser than myself frequently point out on this forum). For me that means surrendering my "obession" to think about it before sleep and instead think about pleasant or Holy thoughts until I fall asleep. I might even push down with one of my fingers on the blanket or pillow after each pleasant or at least neutral thought. For example starting with the pinky of the right hand I might think of what it would feel like to finish Shaas; next finger might be my daughter's (future) wedding, next finger a brief fantasy about having more time to learn; next finger having a closer relationship with my wife etc. until I've gone through all my fingers and can even start recycling again until I fall asleep. I guess thats what in SA they call living in the solution not in the problem. Besiros Tovos!

-Yosef