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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Help! 1906 Views

Re: Help! 17 Jul 2025 07:50 #439056

  • pomegranate
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It's from Techloq, installed by Tag. Apart from blocking categories of pages, it has the option of covering over any skin colour on pictures on permitted pages. I'm afraid I don't know any other technical details.
Wishing you every hatzlocho.

Re: Help! 17 Jul 2025 18:28 #439081

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goal2beabainoini wrote on 17 Jul 2025 06:55:


I'm limited bh due to the skin  tone filter

What does this filter do?
does it work on iOS?

The GenTech filter, which TAG also installs, has the skin filter option for both iOS and Windows. I’m actually using it right now! I’ve found it to be 95% effective in blocking skin on Safari and other web browsing apps and fairly successful in filtering skin on other types of apps, but not perfect by any means.  I highly recommend it. 

Re: Help! 22 Jul 2025 20:23 #439269

  • pomegranate
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I've fallen again. I keep finding cracks in my home base and at work. I feel like my relationships keep getting worse. What hope is there for me to get out of this? Why can't I get my 2 year streak back again?

Re: Help! 22 Jul 2025 20:57 #439271

  • BenHashemBH
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Oy Chaver, I'm sorry.
There is always hope. Perhaps try reaching out to yitzchokm - he is in EY (I think) and the time zone might work out for you.

Are you looking for these cracks and finding them, or are they catching you off guard?

BezH you will be 2 years and forever clean, the same way it happened last time - one day at a time. Looking at 2 years is a long time. Perhaps it would be better not to look so far ahead. Try something daily for 30 days, like reading a morning or nightly chapter from TBOTG. Adding a positive anchor in you day can help you feel good in an assertive way against this YH. 

Hatzlacha and Kol Tov
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.
There is no "just" when it comes to lust.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you (via GYE, email, or phone - whatever floats your boat)
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: Help! 22 Jul 2025 21:27 #439276

  • pomegranate
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Thank you, it's really uplifting to get a response.
I'm going to try to rethink my plan and see if I can fit in TBOTG on a regular basis, thank you again.
I think you've asked a perceptive question. find myself looking for cracks when I'm feeling low about my life situation. It doesn't feel like doing anything wrong in itself. Do you know how to make clear boundaries and keep to them regarding this?
Best regards.

Re: Help! 23 Jul 2025 02:58 #439290

  • proudyungerman
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pomegranate wrote on 22 Jul 2025 20:23:
I've fallen again. I keep finding cracks in my home base and at work. I feel like my relationships keep getting worse. What hope is there for me to get out of this? Why can't I get my 2 year streak back again?

My friend, here is a big bear hug!
I'm so sorry! The yiush is really terrible...

Have you tried speaking to any other mentors on a regular basis? Have you tried making any other connections/friends through GYE?
These connections can be crucial in helping address your yiush, give you an understanding listening ear, and also have some pretty good strategies to boot.

Have you read The Battle of the Generation yet?

Remember, either way, we are here for you and are always rootin' for you!
KOMT!
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me

Re: Help! 23 Jul 2025 08:28 #439297

  • pomegranate
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Thank you for the support, I'm trying to work my way through the options and make a new plan.

But I've already had another fall I can't seem to get off the ground.

Re: Help! 23 Jul 2025 12:58 #439300

  • BenHashemBH
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pomegranate wrote on 23 Jul 2025 08:28:
Thank you for the support, I'm trying to work my way through the options and make a new plan.

But I've already had another fall I can't seem to get off the ground.

I'm sorry that your life situation sometimes causes you to feel low. That hurts.

Is it possible to work on finding a different response to those feelings. Instead of dismissing them and reacting in a way you don't want to, dig deeper and try to discover what is at the root of it. As PY suggested, schmoozing with a mentor and friends can help you process those feelings and help you look for a positive response. 

Why do you say that poking the filter doesn't feel like doing anything wrong? One puff of a cigarette probably won't cause lung cancer. One sip of alcohol won't get someone drunk. But someone that indulges in or is addicted to something knows that that there is no "just" as a puff is a pack, a sip is a bottle, and a poke is a breach. I can't scratch the itch just once, because it will wake up and I'll keep scratching until I bleed. There is nothing innocent about poking a sleeping bear. The clear boundary has to be recognizing why I'm really poking in the first place, and what follows. Why did I lock the door? Why did I tilt the screen? Why did I search for that? Is it really just simple curiosity to see if I can get around or through the filter, but that's it - or does an objective observation reveal the first deliberate choice that connects me from 'nothing' to 'something'.

Have you seen the GYE Three Circles work plan? It may help you map out the connections between the not-so-great activities and the ones you absolutely don't want to do. It also guides you to highlight the activities that make you feel good and energized to avoid and if need be fight off the pull to negative activities. 

It's good to build up a strategy and defense against going looking (a filter or stronger filter), but you also need to reflect on why you are looking or wanting to in the first place.

Take a few hands. Fighting is hard. Fighting alone is much much harder.

BezH your labors are bearing fruit and you will figure this out. Your time zone is a challenge, but not a roadblock. A few friends with partial availability is better than none. 

Come to think of it, there are a few different GYE Vaad timeslots and I believe at least one should be time zone friendly if you are interested to connect that way.

All the best!
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.
There is no "just" when it comes to lust.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you (via GYE, email, or phone - whatever floats your boat)
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others
Last Edit: 23 Jul 2025 12:58 by BenHashemBH.

Re: Help! 24 Jul 2025 20:48 #439392

  • pomegranate
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Thank you for your kind response,
I've been clean 37 hours and closed up a couple of cracks. I've also started calling someone and I'm planning to re-do my three circles. I'm feeling better at the moment.
Thank you to everyone.

Re: Help! 24 Jul 2025 21:02 #439394

  • hashemisonmyside
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even small baby steps helps...
Feel free to reach out abe.k1234@gmail.com or text 347-841-6794 (Google Voice)



Great free resources:

My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation">guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!
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