Welcome, Guest

Boy this is hard….
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Boy this is hard…. 233 Views

Boy this is hard…. 31 Mar 2025 01:03 #433800

  • sytv2002
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 76
  • Karma: 3
Well, I just had another fall. I hate this so much. I just can’t control myself. And I fell before my hours were up also. I feel so terrible. But I don’t want to let that feeling win. I can’t let that win. Maybe I should just daven maariv myself and go to sleep. Finish a terrible night early. But I had a sudden burst of inspiration. THE YH WILL NOT WIN THE NIGHT. It won the battle a half hour ago, true. But now it’s time for my counterattack. I WILL go to minyan. Not just that, I WILL learn for at least 10 minutes before minyan. The YH wants me to be distant from Hashem? Ha. Not a chance. I know Hashem is reading this also. So, Hashem, I fell, yes, I admit it. I’m so so sorry. I wish I hadn’t and I regret it with all of my heart. But I’m back in control now. I will go learn and reconnect to you. I will use my eyes for purity and I hope upstairs it washes away the dirt. The filthy dirt that I hate so much yet can not tear away from. Sheva Yipol Tzaddik Vkom (sytv). It’s a lot more than 7 I know. I wonder about that. Does anyone have an explanation for me? Anyway, I’m getting back up. The YH has knocked me out hundreds if not thousands of times, yet I’m back on my feet. I feel gross, but at least I’m standing. And I WILL win the night. 

Re: Boy this is hard…. 31 Mar 2025 01:10 #433801

  • cleanmendy
  • Current streak: 115 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 176
  • Karma: 17
Sounds like a Baal teshuva Gamur to me, What dirt is there to wipe off. I'm reading the charata right off your post, then Kaballah al haasid, Amazing stuff!
Could we change your name to Just, TV2002??

Re: Boy this is hard…. 31 Mar 2025 14:08 #433841

  • sytv2002
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 76
  • Karma: 3
Haha maybe maybe. Bh I did win the night. Learnt for a half hour even not just 10 minutes.  And went to sleep on time got up for shachris… iyh today will be a great day

Re: Boy this is hard…. 17 Apr 2025 01:00 #434610

  • balancedfox70
  • Current streak: 36 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 44
  • Karma: 1
You sound like a mighty warrior to me! Got inspired from those strong words of commitment!

I always go with the mantra "its not despite falling that you get back up, its only because you fall is the means to get you back up"

Stay strong and keep on posting win or lose. And KOMT!
"Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift,
That's why they call it the present"
#ODAAT!

Here are my threads:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/433015-Just-starting-out

guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/433933-Tired-Wife

Feel free to reach out.
My email address is: balancedfox70@gmail.com
Last Edit: 17 Apr 2025 17:07 by balancedfox70.
  • Page:
  • 1
Moderators: dov, cordnoy, the.guard, mendygye
Time to create page: 0.37 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes