Thank you to GYE for this great forum -- I'm new here, but not new to the problem.

Been wrestling and wrestling on my own for many years.  Grew up in a non-frum home with inappropriate magazines always around the house, then later, as a BT, the problem didn't go away, but working on my relationship with HKB"H, it seemed like it subsided significantly.  Then getting married and having kids, improved even more.

Now married with a number of kids and tons of stress coming from everywhere, along with easy access to anything available on my smartphone... the past couple years I've been failing left and right - I've felt like a terrible person, depressed, miserable to be around.  This past summer/fall, I *almost* made it to 90 days.  I recall being in the 80-day range when my wife brought home a magazine to read more about fitness and get recipes...just seeing the cover I wanted to scream.  I said that I didn't think it was appropriate to have in the house with the kids or ME around, so it went away.  Anyhow, I didn't make it to 90 days.

Working on a filtering solution that allows me to keep my smartphone (which I need for a number of legitimate reasons) -- my fences for now are to 1) make a vow as to where not to take the phone with me (that does work when I can get myself to put up the fence) and 2) lock the browser on my cellphone to put more steps to get to it...and when the browser is enabled, there are a number of bookmarks to pages on GYE.  Next step is to figure out a filtering solution at the router level... which I'm currently researching.

I'm taking it day by day, but my bigger goal (for now) is to make it through שובבי"ם

Ploni

welcome!
3 most important rules of GYE:
1- post
2- read
3- KOT (keep on trucking- never give up!)

Reb Yid,
I want to wish you a warmest "Welcome to our board!!".
Guard will be here in no time with all the introductory information, namely the handbooks (which tell you on a basic level, what specific problems you need to address, and the methods which will work for you). Be sure to read them from cover to cover. And then again.
Without exception, everyone here had thought at one point or another, that the solution to their problem was simply "Not to do it anymore" or "to just grow up and stop it already". Without realizing, that unlike the other areas in our lives - which need improvement, this one is really not so simple, and you can't just "Grow up already".
In a certain sense, we are like people who need to travel through a disease-infested area, and the one and only way to avoid getting infected - is to get the vaccine. No amount of excercise or eating healthy in preparation for the journey will help. It can possibly postpone things, but thats it. So to here. The world is a place infested with tumah. For us - there is absolutely no way to travel through it without getting shlepped back in. EVEN if we learn and daven and do lots of Mitzvos. Our one and only eitzah, is to learn and practice the proper techniques of dealing with the issue.
I had always wondered when this terrible part of my life would come to an end. I can't say I'm 100% there yet, but I can definitely say I see myself on a constant mode of elevation. I'm getting better and better at succeeding in patching up the holes in my life which allow for this thing, and I'm not relying on just "Playing it by ear".
Just like a sculpter has to work for days and weeks, chipping away at everything around his staue, even though in reality it existed already from before - within the stone, so to, we already have that person who guards himself BOTH from that which is harmful, and that which can lead to harm. We just need the proper tools to chip away at all the layers concealing our true selves.
B'Kitzor, Beruchim Ha'baim, it's great just to see another jew seeking to purify himself, I hope you get from this site and from this community - what the rest of us have.
Hatzlacha rabbah!!

KG

welcome ploni. Are you by any chance related to almoni?? :D :D

Ok put the kidding aside. Welcome. Youve come to the right place. Theres so much to learn here, so much chizuk to get from here, and many other great things. As KG said guard willl be here soon with an official welcoming. So join the crew on the road to recovery, Hatzlacha.

Dear Ploni,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Is there anyway you can find a filter for your smartphone? Today you can find filters for almost anything. Google a search on-line, or be in touch with our filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com.

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Welcome to GUE!!!  We are all here to help.  Keep on going with a positive attitude.  Good luck!!

Welcome. You've come to the right place. You're home, and it's safe here, you're with friends.

Take advantage of all the chizuk this site has to offer.

Did you sign up for the daily chizuk emails? They are a life-line.

BTW, don't be so hard on yourself. There are varying levels: slips, falls, mega falls, down the grand canyon and off the planet. check the rules - you don't lose your count for slips. We're all human. Believe in your own goodness. HKB"H made you, and He doesn't make mistakes. You CAN succeed here beyond your dreams. Stick with us, my friend.

If you get a chance, find the link on the home page to Letakein's poem "The Falling Leaves." She wrote it after a fall on her 88th day. These few words speak VOLUMES.

KOL TUV!!

Welcome Reb Ploni!

We're glad to have you here, I'm looking forward to watching you grow, and learning from you!

Days clean are important, but also important is growing in a deeper way - as i'm sure you've already done, and will continue to do!

Who knows? Sometimes, the support of others can make a big difference (I know it has, for me!). Your job is to take it one day at a time...