whywatch wrote on 08 Sep 2024 12:14:
Good morning. I was once a bochur suffering with this issue (now I'm a married man suffering with it). I truly believed I was the only one doing this. Which other person in his right mind would do this, is what I thought. I was too ashamed to approach anyone.
Looking back, and seeing now how this problem is so much greater and wide spread, if I had my way, I would push for every single Yeshiva to have a Mashgiach that proactively deals with this. Someone who will build a trustful relationship with each bochur. Obviously he discuss all other trivial problems as well. (If not no one would come to him, because everyone would know why you are going to him) But at the same time his job should be to build trust with every single bochur, amd when the time is ripe, ask the bochur straight up if he suffers with this. And, when a bochur gives a quick "no" understand that he really wants to say yes but is ashamed. Work with him amd help him. This would save so many for years of pain and hopelessness!!!
I know someone doing exactly that in one yeshiva. Goal is to make it spreas