Just had another big fall. Figured it would be better to come on here and write and read a little as a step towards getting better. Thought I'd rather end my day doing this than with the acts before. I don't want to think about what I just did. But I know how bored and lonely I felt the entire day, which led up to the fall. I feel a bit hopeless- how in the world will I ever be rid of this addiction? I'm in shidduchim already. I feel so guilty in the fact that I have a date scheduled and I'm still doing this. I saw someone write "ODAAT"- One day at a time. That's my new motto for this fight. I can't imagine ever being fully clean, but I sure will be clean tomorrow. Just tomorrow. We'll take it One Day At A Time. 

I totally get your sentiment, I too am in shidduchim and have also thought word for word like you.
I'm trying to use marriage as a push to finally overcome this for once and for all! I'm currently on day 7 of what I genuinely hope will get me to at least 90 (and hopefully sobriety for life - I fully, 100% believe that it's possible)
Also, like you said one beautiful day at a time - oBdaat.
Every day is a fresh start and every day has its own challenges, but we must remember that the challenges of today are what we can look back at tomorrow and say "wow I actually did it!"
That's the beauty of oBdaat - every day is a new beginning, a fresh start of sorts, an opportunity to change the world little by little, day by day.

you can pm me if your interested in chatting 
Hatzlacha rabba!!