Well b"H, Im so far so good. Havnt had a chance to log how its been...
Today is the first day so far my addiction is pulling me but im keeping it at bay... Whats amazing is that right now, what goes through my head is that I cant go back down that road again... i cant....
Still going through the handbooks.
The thing i realized, is that i need to simply say no to it. The hard part is that sometimes the addiction masks the ability to do so. Im finding tefilah is working in the fact that I daven for everyone in the world suffering the same plight as myself including me.
Im upbeat and confident. I may fall again, but this time around, I feel a lot more willing to beat my addiction... Im single and I dont want something like this eventually ruining my ability to find the right girl and G-d forbid ruining my marriage in the future...
The thing i need to saty focused on is keep everything going through my mind FRESH, like its new every single day... because the day it gets to be routine is the day ill fall again.
Im not ready to let that happen yet.
