Hello I joined GYE in the end of February. Since then my M problem didn't change much. I almost finished the f2f course and have only one course left which is less relevant to me rn(the life satisfaction one while I have set goals and motivations). Anyways I keep using the SOS tools and other tools but it just doesn't help. I view unfiltered content(not P most of the time) and it triggers me to act out. I fall something like 3 times a week and it's just depressing because I thought at this point the situation would be much better. I think in my case it's more of a habit than a physical urge or addiction and it's just frustrating. Anyone with advice how to get clean? P.s I managed to stay clean for 2-3 months before few years but I keep falling constantly and right now my best streak is only a week or so. What should I do?

Hey! Welcome.

Kudos to you for doing the F2F program. 

How do you have access to unfiltered content? Is it on an unfiltered device? if yes, how about filtering it?

Can you elaborate on what you mean by habbit

Welcome!

You're in the right place and it sounds like you are doing the right things.

As Heeling mentioned above, first step is to filter up and remove the temptation as much as possible. 

You say you are doing the F2F course - how's it going implementing the tools there?

Welcome dear friend!
Great question
I hope you mind if I ask you a funny question. My friend learned hilchos daled minim, he knows it yashar v'hofoc. And yet, he approached me on the first day of sukkos with a great question. He asked, how can be it be that I don't have an esrog after all that learning?! So, what should I tell him?
I'll tell you what I told him. Learning new info is great. But if you don't implement it you won't get anywhere.
My friend, you write that you did the F2F program. The first yesod you should have learned there is to avoid cues, or triggers. Yes, a filter can help you. But you can help you even more. If you want to succeed you have to implement the program. Avoid triggers. It's the only way
And, one of the greatest things you can do to help you carry out your plan, is to make friends here. There are great guys, try HHM and CO, (the Rebbe and the Rosh Yeshiva, respectively:) and beH you'll break free real soon

Hey
thank you all for answering 
Can you recommend me a filter which won't be that visible because I don't want my spouse to know I'm dealing with this.
Also I mostly fall because of Instagram, even tho I don't have an account.

I want to say I did improve and got rid of some cues or triggering places but still it's really hard when a habit kicks in-for example after I get tired and foggy after a big meal.

​I would love to hear what you can recommend me. Thanks a lot!

Eat less, and if you're hungry later you could always have a snack. Don't get me wrong, I could relate. Good luck!

darkfrontier777 wrote on 04 Apr 2024 20:16:

welcome! its a good place you've come to.

"no one can persuade another to change. each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. we cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or by emotional appeal". - Marilyn Ferguson

best of luck,
horizon

Get techloq or some other filter. This is important for your life so use some creativity here. There are many cover stories, for example you can say that you're doing it is a merit for the hostages, someone sick etc. Or that you convinced/encouraged someone else to get a filter and they said only if you get a filter etc.

Get it today!

Hey I looked up at this techloq I want something free if it's possible also I don't have the problem on my computer my phone is the problem. It's really tiring because I have in my memory the name of all those models and whenever I get tired my shmiras eiynayim fails and from then falling is almost inevitable. I deleted more secure browsers in order for me to feel ashamed while using but it didn't help because this malicious incognito mode. I'm just back from another setback, I'm really stressed these days because I have the Israeli SAT in 5 days and it affects me badly.
What can I do?

eerie wrote on 04 Apr 2024 23:07:

Reb Eerie, in his humility, does not give you the complete picture. There is a triumvirate here of holy men that have have long broken free of their own struggles, yet they stay on to help the masses. Yes, we have a Rebbe (HHHHUA -Hashem Help Him Help Us All), a RY (Reb CO), but there's another person that's brimming with love and only sees the good in his fellow Yid. He'll lift your spirits when your down, and can change your life with his heartfelt Chizuk. Many have been the beneficiaries of his sage advise, myself included. Usually, when he only gives part of the picture, someone is there to correct him. No one did, so I had to.  

Please do yourself a favor, REACH OUT, REACH OUT, REACH OUT. What got me to do so was a post by HHHHUA that said that the biggest difference maker between the one's that make it and the one's that don't, is the connection that's made through phone calls, or even better through personal meetings. Is it hard? It can be, but the dividends are priceless, and will change your life for the better.

darkfrontier777 wrote on 05 Apr 2024 11:37:

Unfortunately, there are no good free options. It's possible to block specific sites on specific browsers (at least on a computer) without a paid filter, but that's very close to a meaningless joke. Techloq will work on a phone or computer. I don't have so much experience with mobile filters to know which is your best option, but Techloq is very good on the computer. As they say, if you can't afford the filter, you can't afford the device. You can save money overall by switching to a kosher phone
I believe GYE has some sort of program to cover the cost for bochurim who mamash can't afford the filter, and if the cost is insurmountable, they may be able to help you as well.

But here's the cold, hard truth as I see it. Filtering up to the greatest extent possible is an absolute requirement for getting clean. Accountability software such as Covenant Eyes or Truple may be less noticeable and work well, IF you have a trusted accountability partner who will hold you task. It sounds like you don't have such a person yet, and, regardless, it's anyway probably not sufficient without filtering.
As @frank.lee pointed out, there's a million justifiable reasons to get a filter without explaining or revealing your struggles. Tell your wife you heard a shuir that unfiltered internet is like chometz and you got inspired to save the hostages. Or whatever. It's only your yetzer deluding you into thinking that getting a filter will be a problem since it knows that a filter will be a powerful blow against it's hold in you. 

My friend, you came to the right place. You're going in the right direction and that is amazing. Now, it's time to take the next step and neuter the trap that you carry with you everywhere you so you can break free. 
And please, do us all a favor. The time when you put on the filter will be a tremendous time for tefillah. Taking such a huge step towards kedusha opens up all the gates. Please, take a minute to daven for all of us, your fellow fighters, that we should also have siyatta dishmaya in our fight.

Well said!!

darkfrontier777 wrote on 05 Apr 2024 11:37:

I'll only reiterate what choosername has said. Yes, it costs money. And it's the only way I know about, although the people who work at TAG are more knowledgeable than I about filters. But really, it's not a cost, and it's not a sacrifice. It's an investment. And boy are the dividends worth it! When you buy yourself vitamins or the like, that's your investment in your health. This is your investment into your health, your ruchniyus, your marriage, with far-reaching effects in your whole life
My friend, Techloq can block pictures. As far as stress is concerned, I'm sorry for the things that are stressing you out. And I want to share that talking with friends that care can really relieve a lot of stress. Exercising can, too.
Here's a tight hug!

darkfrontier777 wrote on 05 Apr 2024 03:49:

Hey! Shalom! 

It’s possible to explain to your wife that a filter helps with the inevitable Shemiras Enayim challenges that always pop up online, even without telling her that you are struggling with viewing porn. 

A lot of guys have told their wives about the Vayimaen movement, how 60,000 Jews are tuning in for ongoing Chizzuk in the area of Shemira Haenayim. This s conversation sets the stage for her to understand that there are challenges that very man deals with, and that you’re a person who is working on being a more elevated person. Everyone intelligent can understand that unfiltered internet can often lead a person to spending time in places that they can regret later, even from a simple time-wasting perspective. A filter can often be justified to a wife in a way that can be very helpful, if done carefully.