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YHs ways of cheating us
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TOPIC: YHs ways of cheating us 1905 Views

YHs ways of cheating us 28 Sep 2008 18:37 #406

  • Someone
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Hi,

a question to those experienced, if I find a mental loop/way to stay "out of trouble", will that not be enough at some point anymore? So, will we keep on having to grow our mental strategies, as in, always being a step ahead of YH? Also, will it not end at some point? I have read posts where it said that there is a "temptation-free" level (at least the type that we are fighting). If not... wont the ways of staying ahead run out at some point?

I am asking this, because till now my 'battle-plan' has worked well. 4 days clean, and no intentions to start again !

/SO
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Re: YHs ways of cheating us 28 Sep 2008 22:10 #414

  • Mevakesh Hashem
Chazal have taught us, that the bigger a person is, the bigger his Y"H will be. There is never a temptation free zone, rather we train ourselves to become better warriors and thus will be able to act as if we are temptation free. THAT is a stategy that works, Yes, always remain one step ahead of the Menuval!

Chazak V'Ematz!
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Re: YHs ways of cheating us 02 Oct 2008 12:18 #435

  • battleworn
Don't worry, the ways of staying ahead won't run out. What will happen is (provided that you're serious and you don't give up) that you will keep becoming a better and better person.
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Re: YHs ways of cheating us 02 Oct 2008 19:33 #453

  • elya k
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Once you're clean for a few months, you will begin a natural search for the core reason
you were using this addiction to soothe your pain.  In that search you will find yourself.
Once you find yourself, what you love to do, there will be a natural state of serenity and
calmness.  Once you're in this state, you will not have a reason to act out.... after a while
you won't even think about it.  It will take something unexpected, like a filter free computer
or something else to trigger you.  Then you will pull out one of the tools from your toolbox
and find something else to soothe you.

Begin to think of other ways to enjoy yourself, some way to pamper yourself and your body
so you feel good, OTHER THAN WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING   Kosher massages by men,
swimming, eating your favorite dessert as a reward for a good day or week, yoga, meditation.
Read Aryeh Kaplan's book on Jewish meditation.  For me there is no greater method to calming
me down and facing the day than meditation.

Maybe that would be a good topic.  What are some ways you soothe your anxiety & pain
in healthy ways?

Any takers?
Elya K was the first  GYE hotline moderator for couples struggling with Shmiras Eiynaim issues in their marriage.  Elya is the author of 6 books, among them Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery, Help Her Heal with Carol Sheets,  Ambushed by Betrayal: The Survival Guide for Betrayed Partners on their Heroes’ Journey to Healthy Intimacy with Michele Saffier. 


FREE EBOOK ON THE GYE SITE AT: Mask In the Mirror (guardyoureyes.com)

Elya K. has been coaching people worldwide for over 10 years for Shmiras Eiyanim issues. 
For a free 15 minute consultation call 901-248-6001.
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Re: YHs ways of cheating us 03 Oct 2008 03:40 #459

  • Mevakesh Hashem
My dear brother Elya,

Kol haMaschil B'Mitzva, Omrim Lo Gemor!

Great idea. Please do the honors and start the topic 

Chazak V'Ematz!
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Re: YHs ways of cheating us 03 Oct 2008 11:10 #463

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I thank you all for your great answers! Indeed, I would like to learn more about meditation (especially and maybe only) about Jewish meditation!

BTW: 6 more days clean! PRAISE HASHEM ! Only around 30 days till the 40 day-mark!

This time I am really serious...

/SO
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