I really applaud you for posting whilst your feelings are strong.
What you have done is a major sign of progress.
To have the presence of mind to post on here whilst in such a place mentally....it shows great powers.
It shows you can separate the feeling of temptation, from who you actually are and what you want.
In such times, this website is a great resource.
So is doing a positive activity.
And above all, davening for help.