Welcome, Guest

Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 519 Views

Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 12 Jun 2022 18:56 #381824

Hi guys, 
what are some segulot or advice that works to get rid of bad thoughts? 
Thanks.

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 12 Jun 2022 19:19 #381829

  • bisyata dishmaya
  • Current streak: 3 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 167
  • Karma: 8
Don't be too hard on yourself when the thought happens, look at it from an outside point of view for example "I'm experiencing a bad thought now which will pass soon. Try thinking of Torah or something you enjoy without trying to force out the bad thought.
The best tool in my opinion: Every day say Tehillim 16 32 41 42 59 77 90 105 137 150 Hatzlocha!

My Thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378555-Here-we-go!

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 12 Jun 2022 21:55 #381851

  • yechielmichel
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 132
  • Karma: 7
Realize that you may never be able to ride yourself from thoughts coming up. The question is how you handle them. Immediately push them away by thinking of something else. Torah, work, business, etc.

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 12 Jun 2022 23:53 #381863

  • davidt
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1793
strivingForBetterDays wrote on 12 Jun 2022 18:56:
Hi guys, 
what are some segulot or advice that works to get rid of bad thoughts? 
Thanks.

The Shalo”h Hakodosh (Shaar haOsiyos 30) writes in the name of Rav Moshe Cordevero (1522-1570) that he once heard from an elderly Jew that an effective method (segulah) for removing forbidden thoughts from one’s mind is to repeat the following pasuk [verse] over and over: “The fire on the altar shall be kept burning on it, it shall not be extinguished.” [Vayikra 6:6]. The Shalo”h comments that he is sure that the “elderly Jew” who Rav Moshe Cordevero heard this from was the prophet, Eliyahu [Elijah]. However, due to Rav Cordevero’s great modesty, he did not want to reveal the true source, since that would have revealed that he was worthy of conversing with Eliyahu.

The Rambam says that the antidote to improper thoughts is to focus one's mind on Torah Learning, the kedusha of the Torah will help push those thoughts away. 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 13 Jun 2022 20:29 #381916

strivingForBetterDays wrote on 12 Jun 2022 18:56:
Hi guys, 
what are some segulot or advice that works to get rid of bad thoughts? 
Thanks.

There's a clip of R' Ari Bensoussan where he says from Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz the following:

When it pops into your head, start laughing out loud and say, "This right now is a challenge. If I withstand this, I'll be so much bigger."

I can't say I've tried it fully; I'm a bit embarrassed to start laughing in public.
But being mindful from the onset that it's a challenge, which is meant to make you stronger, makes it much more manageable for me.

The clip of R' Ari:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1E26xyPTfYVQfqeOGqIUfwQ3PhusxVZV0/view
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 14 Jun 2022 16:21 #381940

  • retrych
  • Current streak: 201 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 119
  • Karma: 5
Things that sometimes help me, some are more geared to a longer thought, like a story:

1 Apathy. instead of trying t fight it, just think like, yeah, whatever. Like the thought was something you read that you really could not care less about

2 Add to the scene. place the picture within the kodesh kadoshim like titus harasha. If it works for you, put people you respect watching, or spouse if you are married. Or, and this may be a projection of my own self esteem issues, people you arent attracted to watching you and, i dont know, feeling unwanted? I dont know, it works sometimes. picturing tznius, moral, women and contrasting with this prutza can work but can also backfire.

3 Write it down. just a couple words, get it out of your mind. Like you can come back to it later you're not going to lose it, so the desire relaxes

4 move the scene in another direction, have the story go somewhere else. This works for me, but dont hold on to this new story line or you'll end up worse than where you started because it feels less bad

5 If you're a maladaptive daydreamer too, you can hold on to a good daydream to think about instead in these situations

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 14 Jun 2022 16:31 #381941

  • 5Uu80*cdwB#^
  • Current streak: 1054 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 177
Your point #1 is so so important! When we have lustful thoughts, the solution is to simply move on with life! If we are living a life of fullness, accomplishment, and meaning, we have things to move on to! If we are bored, unhappy, and unfulfilled, it will undoubtedly be difficult to move on because there isn't anything to move on to!

This demonstrates how winning the battle against lust requires that we fill our lives with mitzvos, meaning, and productive activities so that we have the ability to move on when faced with aveirah.
If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.
Last Edit: 14 Jun 2022 16:32 by 5Uu80*cdwB#^.

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 14 Jun 2022 16:44 #381942

  • VETZEINGUT
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 4
  • Karma: 1
For a very long time I get very aroused when I see some cool guy or someone handsome (talking about men), especially these days when alot of people make themselves looking very cool, and I start thinking of their middle part of their body etc. How can I change this way of thinking - please advise what approach to take to get rid of this way of thinking, please only answer if you also suffer/suffered from this issue - thanks a million

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 14 Jun 2022 19:03 #381947

there is a seifer from reb daniel frish z"l called שמירת המחשבה with  plenty segulas  
hope that u will find some 
hatzlacha

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 14 Jun 2022 19:23 #381948

  • 5Uu80*cdwB#^
  • Current streak: 1054 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 177
VETZEINGUT wrote on 14 Jun 2022 16:44:
For a very long time I get very aroused when I see some cool guy or someone handsome (talking about men), especially these days when alot of people make themselves looking very cool, and I start thinking of their middle part of their body etc. How can I change this way of thinking - please advise what approach to take to get rid of this way of thinking, please only answer if you also suffer/suffered from this issue - thanks a million

One thing I can assure you of is that the more you will try to actively get rid of certain thoughts, no matter what they are, the more they will come back, the stronger they will come back, and the more distressing they will be.

So, don't try that approach.
The approach to unwanted thoughts is NOT segulos. It's to simply move on from them (as I say a lot on this site in my posts).
I'm sorry you're going through this struggle.
If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 14 Jun 2022 19:46 #381951

VETZEINGUT wrote on 14 Jun 2022 16:44:
For a very long time I get very aroused when I see some cool guy or someone handsome (talking about men), especially these days when alot of people make themselves looking very cool, and I start thinking of their middle part of their body etc. How can I change this way of thinking - please advise what approach to take to get rid of this way of thinking, please only answer if you also suffer/suffered from this issue - thanks a million

Hi Vetzeingut!
I just read your other (first) post; I struggle with the same stuff. I feel your pain and confusion.

As for this question, I can speak about what I see by myself. Thoughts are thoughts all the same. Sometimes I'd see a woman and start fantasizing; sometimes, the subject of my fantasy is a guy.

The question is not about the particular subject but about my mind.
i.e., what can I do to gain control over my thoughts and not be controlled by them? Regardless of the subject occupying headspace.

What works for me:
  • Knowing that this is a test.
  • Learning to focus on breathing.
  • Finding something else to occupy my mind with.

Good luck!
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 14 Jun 2022 21:04 #381952

  • vehkam
  • Current streak: 981 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1035
  • Karma: 226
VETZEINGUT wrote on 14 Jun 2022 16:44:
For a very long time I get very aroused when I see some cool guy or someone handsome (talking about men), especially these days when alot of people make themselves looking very cool, and I start thinking of their middle part of their body etc. How can I change this way of thinking - please advise what approach to take to get rid of this way of thinking, please only answer if you also suffer/suffered from this issue - thanks a million

I don’t have a segula.  I can tell you what I do when I see things in the street. 

1) I first try to move on right away.  Recognize that this is an outside thought and find something else to focus on. 
2)if the thought remains with me for more than a second or two- I say a kpittel Tehillim. Be honest with hashem. I don’t want this thought and didn’t ask for it.  Please help me get through this unscathed.  
3) if I anticipate that I will be in the situation (walking to mincha in the city on a hot day) I will sometimes say the Tehillim even before I see anything…
4)if you are having this issue with your friends (not strangers in the street) then I think that the above will probably not work and it will require a different process.  

hatzlocha and please let us know if you find something that works well for you. 
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Adivce/ Segulot for bad thoughts 15 Jun 2022 11:33 #381971

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 2791 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3956
VETZEINGUT wrote on 14 Jun 2022 16:44:
For a very long time I get very aroused when I see some cool guy or someone handsome (talking about men), especially these days when alot of people make themselves looking very cool, and I start thinking of their middle part of their body etc. How can I change this way of thinking - please advise what approach to take to get rid of this way of thinking, please only answer if you also suffer/suffered from this issue - thanks a million

First of all, realize that being attracted to men does not make you bad or weird. Many many guys have some level of attraction to males. All the various desires come from the same place - how the ta'ava manifests itself and why is a subject that has been hashed out here on the forums and by many professionals. 

I suffered from this cool guy attraction as well and found myself fixated on the crotch as you describe. I found that i forced myself to carefully see the cool guys that were triggering me - and not panicking when my heart rate went up a bit. I convinced myself that there is no monster here and there is no reason to get anxious. Once the anxiety was removed from the equation, i was able b'ezras Hashem to sort of laugh off the whole thing. Feel free to be in touch.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
  • Page:
  • 1
Time to create page: 0.52 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes