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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Keep it vague 307 Views

Keep it vague 20 Apr 2021 19:42 #367175

I just want to raise awareness about specific things that trigger people - there have been so many times that I have seen on GYE that people got triggered on this website or on this app or doing x or whatever and I think thats harmful rather then helpful. Why does it matter how exactly you fell or got triggered? You saw things you shouldn't have seen. Leave it at that unless your davka looking for help in that specific area in which case maybe PM someone who can help you with a filter or whatever youre looking for but I think specifics hurt rather than help people who may not have thought to be nichshal with those things in particular. For example myself I had everything under control and was really doing very well until I saw here that there was a way to access images that I never would have thought about and while BH I haven't been there yet its been nagging me ever since I saw it and I'm sure there are many other cases like this
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Feel free to contact me at evedhashem1836@gmail.com

Re: Keep it vague 21 Apr 2021 20:09 #367237

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Agreed 
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Keep it vague 22 Apr 2021 14:46 #367285

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This is a very important point and every person needs to be honest with himself and his intentions.

The sefer Tomer Devorah by Rav Moshe Cordevero ZT"L writes the following:

A man must be on his guard against the kind of speech which brings to thoughts of sin, so that he should not be visited by a seminal emission. Needless to say, he should not speak obscenities but he should take care not to utter even clean words if they give rise to sexual thoughts. And this is contained in a careful examination of the verse: 'Suffer not thy mouth to bring thy flesh unto guilt,' this is, take care not to suffer the mouth to give speech which can bring sin to the holy flesh, the sign of the covenant, with seminal emission. And it is written: 'Wherefore should God be angry . . . ' Now if obscenity is meant what is the meaning of: 'bring to guilt' seeing that this itself is 'guilt'? But the meaning is that even if there is no sin in the actual word itself, for it is clean, he should take care if it is able to bring about sexual thoughts. This is why he says: 'To bring thy flesh to guilt. . . Why should God be angry?' when sin does result He will be angered by that speech thought it were permissible; for the voice and the speech revert to evil when the deed results from it. This is the extent of the care that must be taken with regard to the sign of the covenant that he should not have sexual imaginings and so destroy.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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