Hi,

I want to post for accountability. 

​I am a married an of three, have posted before when fell. My wife is wonderful, beautiful, and this is not because of her, thank g-d all is good with that. I seem to have a massive fight inside me, and go for some streaks, recently this year, falls: sep 10, nov 3, feb 2, feb 11, and today, march 23.

​There were other days to which I fought and won but thee times and today just couldn't make it, with P/M as a result...I try to have healthy outlets (I run five podcasts, work as an OT by day, working on jewish kids book, and play guitar/write songs), but I still get overpowered. Wife doesn't know, would leave if did (mentioned it slightly in passing once, she packed bag...almost left...feigned physical symptoms and she stayed (embarrassed to admit)....cant even come on every day only on days she goes to work for a few hours and she uses/checks my phone all the time, even if webchaver.covenant eyes came up as bill or weekly checkup it'd probably shock her to leave. 

​I try day by day but like to post if I fall for accountability. 

Thank for listening. Much easier to reach me on GCHAT at tgrehab@gmail----hopefully will come back on in future but kids an wife home starting tomorrow thru chag and zoom of week after so will see when can come back...

Also posted in BB forum for married men.

Thanks for listening
TG