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TOPIC: Filters 828 Views

Filters 21 Dec 2009 07:46 #36320

  • jeff
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Hi everybody this is my first post on the forum and I'd like to start with a huge THANK YOU to all of you, I've been getting the e-mails and reading the forum for 5 weeks now an I'm currently clean for 4 weeks my longest streak ever. 
I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to cummunicate to my wife that we need Internet filters without her getting suspicious.  
Last Edit: by airbus.

Re: Filters 21 Dec 2009 08:08 #36322

  • Holy Yid
  • Current streak: 92 days
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Blame it on the rabbis. If you have children say its to protect them. Find some sad story of a guy who ran off because of the web blame it on that. Be unreasonable about it.
זכרני נא, זכרני נא, וחזקני נא אך הפעם הזה, הפעם הזה, האלקים, ואנקמה נקם אחת משתי עיני, מפלשתים
Last Edit: by mr12345.

Re: Filters 21 Dec 2009 10:45 #36323

  • imtrying25
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Can say what i did. I told her that i want to try and be more careful about what i see on the internet son i wanna install a filter to keep out all unwanted popups etc etc.. She didnt suspect anything just thought i wanted to be more careful. Worked.
Last Edit: by nerikel.

Re: Filters 21 Dec 2009 14:59 #36381

  • the.guard
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Dear Jeff,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Have your wife listen to this audio clip of Rabbi Twerski and tell her that it scared you! What if you look for more than 4/10s of a second? You could become an addict!! It is pulling in our best and brightest!

If you get a filter, make sure to follow the instructions on this page so that you give away your password to our filter Gabai! 

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by mendysos5.

Re: Filters 21 Dec 2009 16:30 #36409

  • MosheW
  • Current streak: 90 days
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Most Rabbonim and Admorim are of the opinion that one is obligated to have a filter on the computer. Installing a filter should be the least of your concerns.
And by the way Welcome Home, glad to have you on board!!!!!!!
Last Edit: by motyber18.

Re: Filters 21 Dec 2009 18:30 #36453

  • Kollel Guy
Hey, welcome home Jeff!
Why should she be suspicious? Just give a Rabbi of yours a call, ask him if he thinks a filter is neccessary and he'll say yes, (if he doesn't - get a new rabbi and call him). Then tell your wife, your rabbi told you that you should get a filter. WALA! Brilliant!
Last Edit: by accounttestin.
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