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Embarrassed & Disgusted
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TOPIC: Embarrassed & Disgusted 324 Views

Embarrassed & Disgusted 14 Sep 2020 01:45 #355025

  • Swift Eagle
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Hey guys!

I keep having a situation which I find extremely disturbing to myself. I hate any physical touch with my adorable 3 year old son . I know or believe that he needs to be hugged and kissed, held on my lap etc - healthy affection and love & I do my utmost to give it to him despite the difficulty to me in it. I often feel absolutely repulsed by the feeling of touching him in any way and at the same time occasionally get an erection from the very touching that I am repulsed by. I feel so confused and disgusting . I feel like a monster, an ogre, a rotten fly & maggot infested moldy spoiled carcass. 

Please help!!!!!!

https://gye.vids.io/videos/449bddb01313e7cfcd/are-you-ready-to-win

:יהודה בן תימא אומר
 הוי עז כנמר
וקל כנשר
ורץ  כצבי
וגבור כארי
! לעשות רצון אביך שבשמים

I NEED YOU!!!
I'm flying in the darkest of dark
in the storm of all storms
please light my way!
Help me rise above temptation 
& come closer to you!
I need YOU like nothing else
& only you!
Only connecting with you will fill my souls yearning,
for all else is peasant food for the prince,
saltwater for the thirsty!
Please help me overcome
the distractions, obstructions & fearsome illusions,
I know it's you hiding behind the terrifying smokescreen,
testing, awaiting, patiently, with endless love,
one greater than the capacity of my imagination.
You are eternal, I don't exist,
bring me close, to cleave to you,
so that I can too last forever by returning to you.
Bring us home, to the land of our soul,
and rid the universe of all evil,
which is simply the "absence" of you,
so that we can feel & see you clearly,
Ki Bayin U'vayin Yiru, B'shuv Hashem L'Tziyon!

Re: Embarrassed & Disgusted 14 Sep 2020 02:57 #355032

  • Hashem Help Me
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Look at your PM (private messages)
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Embarrassed & Disgusted 15 Sep 2020 17:17 #355110

  • eyes
  • Current streak: 137 days
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Dear Swift Eagle,
Please think about the following, When you were a child were you hugged and kissed?
If no, its okay. 
Your children need your affection, put yourself on the side and just feel what they need from you. 
No, you are not an animal. Take a chill, and relax. 
Focus on them and you will see showing affection, playing and reading books to them won't be an issue.

Eyes
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