TZITZIT wrote on 16 Aug 2020 20:08:
Even though my intro was pretty much a downer as far as attitude goes and stated ambitions to be 40 days clean before the New Year (I gave in, unfortunately, and that's ok) ... I want to say thank you for to those who reached out to me on the forum and in IMs.
The support has given me strength not to beat myself up so hard this time. Even though I struggle in observance in many areas (I am shomer Shabbos) this is where I, and my yetzer hara, have beaten myself up because I used to be "more frum" than what I am now. I solely blame myself and my addiction to zera l'vatala for this.
What has given me strength is the fact that even though I may not be as observant as I used to, I am, in fact, still observant. Whatever negative thoughts I've had about myself have started to turn around the past couple of days.
I am looking forward to ridding myself of toxic thinking so I can keep positive thinking and growing.
Kol tov.
Wow. I liked that speech. Keep us posted and I cant wait to hear more!