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Drowning in filth
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TOPIC: Drowning in filth 342 Views

Drowning in filth 27 Apr 2020 07:26 #348816

I am a 19 year old Yeshiva Bochur on the East Coast. Here I am, at 3 in the morning, having fallen yet again on the unfiltered devices left out by others in the house at night. Over the past several weeks (obviously being stuck at home due to the current matzav), this has happened almost 10 times, as unbeknownst to the owners of these devices, I know the passwords, and therefore have access. To make matters worse, the FILTERED devices (which would provide a healthy distraction) are the ones I don’t have access to at night, as they are taken away by my parents (but the unfiltered devices are left out, as they don’t know that I have access), who don’t want us to “stay up too late” (they have no idea). My thought would be to find a healthy alternative to keep myself occupied at night, but with (the irony is sickening) the FILTERED devices being confiscated at night, it becomes so much harder. Please, please help,
"It ain't about how hard you hit.
It's about how hard you can GET hit,
and keep moving forward,
how much you can TAKE,
and keep moving forward.
That's how winning is done!"



Re: Drowning in filth 27 Apr 2020 09:26 #348818

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I find that most things I do in my addiction are ironic. Not saying you're an addict, just that there's a lot of irony going around. For me, it's sickening yes, it's insane yes, and in a healthy state all I can really do is laugh at it. 

Keep on truckin'!

PS, if you try falling harder on those unfiltered devices eventually you'll break them!
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


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Re: Drowning in filth 27 Apr 2020 23:43 #348847

Could I suggest, not as a solution but as a possible help, that you put in the effort to do something fulfilling during the day? For example if you have a hobby, or if you have a friend you enjoy learning with etc. something you feel good about afterwards. That good feeling could help give you extra self control at night. Exercise can also be a really powerful technique for this. 

Re: Drowning in filth 05 May 2020 02:23 #349192

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Practice mindfulness when you get the urge to fall.

Mindfulness can explain self destructive behaviour.

Treat the urge to fall, as an external thought, rather than something that is part of you.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201601/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-self-destructive-behavior
Last Edit: 05 May 2020 02:24 by colincolin.
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