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HELP! Drowning and helpless
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: HELP! Drowning and helpless 152 Views

HELP! Drowning and helpless 29 Mar 2020 07:13 #348149

Please somebody help. I am helpless against what is going on right now. With being stuck at home, I now have access (unknown to my parents) to unfiltered internet literally at my fingertips (I know the codes to my parents’ iPad/iPhone). I have no trouble during the day, but come nighttime, I fall. I stay up late watching the filth night after night. I previously was doing much better overall, but this is absolutely killing me. Please help. 

Re: HELP! Drowning and helpless 29 Mar 2020 07:25 #348150

  • sleepy
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im sorry for what you are going through. Please  Daven to Hashem for an idea how you can stay clean(and to keep you clean) , Hashem has great ideas even though we cant imagine how we will get out of this.its very brave of you to reach out and post !wishing you hatzlacha!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com

Re: HELP! Drowning and helpless 29 Mar 2020 19:19 #348161

  • DavidT
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TheSicarioWarrior wrote on 29 Mar 2020 07:13:
Please somebody help. I am helpless against what is going on right now. With being stuck at home, I now have access (unknown to my parents) to unfiltered internet literally at my fingertips (I know the codes to my parents’ iPad/iPhone). I have no trouble during the day, but come nighttime, I fall. I stay up late watching the filth night after night. I previously was doing much better overall, but this is absolutely killing me. Please help. 

This struggle is very normal, and everybody deals with it on some level or another. Having a desire for this doesn’t mean that there is anything negative about a person. We say twice daily in Shema, "do not explore inappropriate sights, after which you stray". The passuk is addressing every person in every generation. Even chashuve people and those who lived centuries ago had to deal with this issue. Likewise, when talking about this desire, Chazal tell us that a person’s nefesh craves it. Chazal aren’t referring specifically to bad people; they are addressing every single person. Do not condemn himself as being no good when you encounters a nisayon.

A good area that can positively impact this struggle is developing one’s overall self-control, without specifically targeting this issue. The reason for this is because when a person acts out, his fundamental problem is that he is lacking in his ability to withstand an urge; therefore, when he is faced with a difficult nisayon, he falls apart. By giving in to every ta’avah he has, a person allows the the yetzer hora to gain a hold over him. The person must therefore back-track and work on becoming a more disciplined person in general, someone who doesn’t always have to give in to every ta’avah that he has. Even if the nisayon of kedushah is too hard for him to withstand at this point, nonetheless, by working on his general self-control, he will be developing his ability to say “No”, and eventually, kedushah-related nisyonos will also become easier to resist.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: HELP! Drowning and helpless 01 Apr 2020 05:43 #348221

You did in the past you know it’s possible. 

private chat me. 

Re: HELP! Drowning and helpless 03 Apr 2020 03:34 #348274

  • ColinColin
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Try to keep regular 9-5 hours.
Waking at 6.30 or 7 , lunch at 1, dinner at 7.30, bed around 10.30/11 etc.

If you cannot, then stay up late and learn Torah, read Chassidic stories, Jewish History, learn Mussar etc.
Last Edit: 03 Apr 2020 03:36 by ColinColin.

Re: HELP! Drowning and helpless 03 Apr 2020 14:57 #348288

  • DavidT
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We posted some good things to help us keep busy in these trying times...
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/15-The-Torah-amp-Chizuk-Approach/348024-Ideas-to-combat-boredom-and-keep-strong
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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